Why are cats mammals? Because they are descended from primordial mammals in the distant past which are the common ancestors of all mammals.

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What do you call a midget mixed with a T. rex? Dinosaurs are dead and this is a highly un probable situation. Therefore, I do not know.

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Two friends that are 11 years old are fighting with each other, and one of them says, " Shut the front door." The other friend replies, "We don't even have a front door, because we're both homeless, and we're never going to be adopted because we're on an island, that's how we became friends in the first place."

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Ethan's girlfriend is a salg hahahahahahahahahahahaha fucking meff she needs to die

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Q.How many babies does it take to screw in a lightbulb A.Babies are to young to screw in lightbulbs

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How long does it take a black woman to have a baby? Nine months, give or take a few days depending on whether she goes into labour early or not.

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A man walks into a bar so how many Jews were there when a man called Wellard ate a pizza. Balloons

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Why did the Asian woman get into a car accident? She didn't pay attention in driver school and sped through a red light and hit a bus that killed 14 children.

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roses are grey violets are grey im a dog

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A blond, brunette, and a red head are stranded on an island. They find a genie, who tells them each one can have one wish. They all wish for the same thing, to be back home with their families.

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A mormon walks into a bar.

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Q: How many Marys does it take to drive you crazy? A: Just one ::stares at Mary Annoyingly::

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Whats the first thing you do when your grandmother gets hit by a toaster? Buy a new toaster.

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Whats the similarity between your mom and me We are both men except for your mom

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Frostbite

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What does the kitty say to his owner? you've CAT to KITTEN right MEOW

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the batmobile? Get in the batmobile.

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Why do seagulls live by the sea? Because they wouldn't be able to live anywhere else.

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how did I get in your moms pants. I ripped them off.

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a white van was driving really slow and he stopped in front 3 children. "do you want some candy" the old man said. the kids took the candy and the old man drove away happily, knowing he made someones day.

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Her tits are so big that they would provide adequate nourishment for any future offspring.

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A homeless man begged and begged for a dollar to buy something. A man finally gave him his dollar. What did the hobo buy? Nothing he walked into 711 and then got shot.

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How do you stop a car? Put on the Brake

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A zebra dies and goes to animal heaven. All the animals around him are trotting, flying, jumping, each according to its own species, in the kind of bliss that only eternity can bring. But the zebra is not impressed and mopes through heaven's green fields. A giraffe notices his languid stupor and asks, "Why so glum, pal?" The zebra mournfully replies, "All my life I've wondered if I was black with white stripes or white with black stripes." The giraffe, hoping to get the zebra to some answers as quickly as possible, suggests, "Why not go as God?" The zebra, somewhat taken aback by the notion that God might give him an audience, replies, "Oh, I can do that?" The giraffe says, "Sure, I'll show you the way!" The giraffe leads the zebra to a great tabernacle of gold and points the way up a long stairway of diamond. The zebra follows the stairs up to two great ivory doors. But no matter what he tried, the zebra couldn't get the door open. The only animals that could open the door for him would be the primates because of their opposable digits, but the zebra wasn't much of a social animal, so he didn't have any friends. He spent eternity with no answer to his question.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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