HaHaHaHa... Was the last joke funny? Ya, well this ones not.

A zebra dies and goes to animal heaven. All the animals around him are trotting, flying, jumping, each according to its own species, in the kind of bliss that only eternity can bring. But the zebra is not impressed and mopes through heaven's green fields. A giraffe notices his languid stupor and asks, "Why so glum, pal?" The zebra mournfully replies, "All my life I've wondered if I was black with white stripes or white with black stripes." The giraffe, hoping to get the zebra to some answers as quickly as possible, suggests, "Why not go as God?" The zebra, somewhat taken aback by the notion that God might give him an audience, replies, "Oh, I can do that?" The giraffe says, "Sure, I'll show you the way!" The giraffe leads the zebra to a great tabernacle of gold and points the way up a long stairway of diamond. The zebra follows the stairs up to two great ivory doors. But no matter what he tried, the zebra couldn't get the door open. The only animals that could open the door for him would be the primates because of their opposable digits, but the zebra wasn't much of a social animal, so he didn't have any friends. He spent eternity with no answer to his question.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Somebody pushed it

How do you call blond girl with no arms and no legs ? A victim of a tragic car accident.

A doctor walks out of the delivery room and relieves A nervous father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happiness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with the rest of what he had to relay to the father. Your wife died during the delivery.

A: What is worse than a melted chocolate bar. B: An eaten one.

Why did Todd have intimacy problems? He was molested as a child.

How did the black guy cross the street? He jumped it.

Q: Why did the monkey climb a tree? A: To avoid predators.

What's big, brown, and barks? Tree

What do you call a guy who likes men? Gay

What did the clam say to the scuba diver? FUCK MAN! STOP TOUCHING MY JEWELS! WOULD YOU WANT ME TO JUST RIP YOURS AND TAKE THEM WITH ME!

What's funnier than a dead baby? A lot of things, because a dead baby isn't funny at all.

Somebody stole my goat, now I can't enter it in the fair

Knock knock Who's there Your son and his vagina.

Your mama is so black, she contributes regularly to the NAACP and the United Negro College Fund. Her donations and volunteer work help greatly.

A slutty deer walks into a bar she then comes out and says wow i cant believe i blew 30 bucks

i man walks into a bar, he is found dead two days later with severe head trauma.

Why couldn't the turtle swim? Because he went too close to an oil spill, the petroleum got into his mouth and coated his lungs and he is now dead.

Did you hear about the kid from Texas? He shot his campus up.

Knock, knock. Who's there? Jesus. Jesus who? You're going to hell.

knock knock whos there? the police, your under arrest

What did the German say to the Jew? I'm not quite sure; I don't speak German.

Whats funnier then a dead baby? A lot of things.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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