how did the man get down the stairs? he walked.

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How did the blind man know when to open his parachute when he went skydiving? The leash went slack.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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Jesus walks int a hotel and places a handful of nails on the counter in front of the innkeeper. He is immediately turned away as the innkeeper understandably does not accept nails as currency.

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Q: If Jack Bauer is partially gay, then what are you? A: His sidekick -Ryan Vallee

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why did the chicken cross the road? It is a domestic bird in the wild that is free to go where ever it wants to, that's why

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How do you have sex with 9 giraffes? you don't because that's weird

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Q. What do you call a person with no arms, legs, torso, or head? A. A mutilated corpse.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it did not realize it was a man-made distinction for constructed transportation vehicles and had a coincidental tendency to walk toward the area on the other side to find food or avoid birds flying over.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I'm schizophrenic. And so am I!

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Q:What do you get when you mix a tiger and a panda? A:nothing, its impossible

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the WNBA

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How come Michael Jackson couldn't get into the petting zoo? It was closed.

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What did the five fingers say to the face? Nothing. Fingers cannot talk.

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what is the difference between a Jew and a pizza? -one is the chosen people of Isreal and one is a food that was founded in Italy

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What did the mute say to the deaf man? Nothing. He's a mute.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Im tired Cheese on toast

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There once were 2 cowboys who were lost on a dusty trail. Later on they found their way out and are now doing very successful

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Why did the man drive into the river? He was sleep deprived from working overtime.

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yo mama's so fat!!!

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Jim and Larry work together. Jim works hard, and Larry is a bit of a prankster. One day, Jim is having a rather rough day, and Larry looks to cheer him up with a good-natured joke. Knowing that Jim's wife prepares dinner for him every night of the week, he calls her and tells her that their boss has decided to pay for a dinner out, that she should take the day off and just get ready for Jim to come home and pick her up. Larry will later follow up by calling a pizza delivery place and having them send a special no hard feeling message with two large delicious pizzas. He forgets to call the pizza delivery man until later that night, after which it's too late and he thinks "I'll just explain the joke to Jim tomorrow." And goes peacefully to sleep. Arriving home and finding that dinner is not prepared, Jim savagely beats his wife.

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If I earned a dollar for every time you've said, "I'm too old for this sh*t," I wouldn't have made very much money. You are a giraffe.

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Women's rights.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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