ask me if i'm a tree are you a tree? No.

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Q: What was the proctologist doing on the street? A: He was observing the assfault.

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what did Charlie Sheen say after he won a game of chess? I just won a game of chess!

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why did the baby stop crying his mother killed him with an axe

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My uncle was involved in 9/11... He called me before the plane crashed into the twin towers, his final words were so comforting... "ALLAH AKBAR!!!"

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What did T Pain say to the skipper of his yacht? I'm on a yacht

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Why did the chicken cross the street? To get to your house. Knock Knock Who is there. The chicken.

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please dis this joke, I want to get to the bottom of the leaderboard!

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If a fish eats fish bait, and a dog eats dog bait, what does a master eat? Anything he feels like eating at the given moment provided it is in accordance to his diet and beliefs.

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What did the muslim say to the jew. Hello

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Why does Snoop Dogg have an umberella? For shielding himself from the rain.

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Whats black and white, and red all over? A Zebra being slaughtered.

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Why was the black man tangled in chains at the bottom of the ocean? Because he was a highly skilled diver and environmentalist who tragically entangled himself and consequently died slowly and painfully of suffocation while trying to save a whale from eating waste metal.

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I helped build the town school. But when people see me, no one says "Hey, there's the guy that built the town school." I helped put out the flames, when the city was on fire. But when people see me they don't say "Hey, there's the hero that saved the city." But I have sex with one goat.... And people judge me justifiably asd having sex with goats is really disgusting and sticks in peoples minds.

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What's worse than finding a snake in your apple? Finding a snake in your apple

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Why did the blonde buy a condom? Because she had a penis.

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Why did the girl fall down the hill? Her boyfriend pushed her.

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why did the women give her sister a present because it was her birthday

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What are the last words of a child dieing of cancer ? Nothing because he is to ill to speak

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Hey I just met you And this is crazy There's the kitchen Sandwich maybe?

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What starts with an 's' and ends with a 'hit'? Shortly after the war, 4 men went to celebrate at the local bar. They all had a grand time there, when a man in black walked into the bar. The man in black knocks once on the bar. "What do you want?" asked the bartender. The man in black didn't respond. This time, the bartender asked again, only louder. The man in black then turned to his right to face the 4 other men celebrating. The man in black then suddenly pulled out a pistol, and shot the 4th man. He then burst into a sprint and ran out of the bar. "He's hit," the 3rd man shouted, "he's hit!"

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What do you do if you have a worm in your apple you throw it away

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Erica is so sexy i want to hump her

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Your mom's so fat... she probably needs to go on some sort of diet to avoid a serious heart condition and inevetible death

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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