What do you do when you have 2 eggs, but only want to use 1? I don't know. I guess you could just use 1 of them and save the other for another time?

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, And really aggravate my allergies.

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michael: How old do I look? stranger: about 68? How old are you? michael: I cant remember I have alzheimers. michael: How old do I look?

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So this one time at band camp... a flute gave me an STD.

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Q: What was the proctologist doing on the street? A: He was observing the assfault.

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A bar walking into a mans house, then the blonde says stupid words like why did the chicken of the sea cross the road and pigeons go moo moo like a cow.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

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Knock Knock? Who's There? Not a Jehovah's Witness, let me in!

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Black Poeple

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Why did the deaf man attend the music concert? He was invited by friends and wasn't doing anyhting else that evening.

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What's the difference between a duck? I'm sorry, I was typing too quickly and missed off the end of my sentence. I meant to say "What's the difference between a duck and a goose?" and the answer is that they are entirely different species of waterfowl.

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Q.why did the chicken cross the road A. To eat some Kentucky Fried Chicken get it KFC

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What's the difference between peanut butter and jam ? Among many things, one is made with peanut butter, the other with fruits.

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the guy on tv right now isnt funny. i blame canada

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A man entered ten puns into a pun contest, hoping that one of them would win. Unfortunately, he came in third place and was discouraged by his loss.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The interrupting doctor. The inter-- --You have cancer.

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Two monkeys are lying in a tree. Big monkey and little monkey, little monkey bites the big monkey's tale, big monkey starts jumping around the place shouting. Little monkey just starts laughing and takes another sip of whiskey.

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What comes after 69? mouthwash

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Q:what did the 14 year old girl from Tennessee say to her dad when she lost her virginity? A: Get off of me

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What did the FBI agent say to the CIA agent. We're both agents

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Spongebob. "Hey Patrick, I thought of something funnier than 24." Patrick "Let me hear it." Spongebob "25"

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An armadillo walks into a bar, and shouts "I hear you don't serve armadillos." "That is correct," the bartender replies.

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What happens when you shoot Chuck Norris? You go to jail.

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Whats worse than a baby stapled to a tree? A tree stapled to a baby

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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