What do you get when you cross 3 men and a chainsaw? Answer: 2 and a half men

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what is green and has weels? grass i was kidding about the weels.

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What did the kid say when he fell of a cliff and met Tom jones? Hi

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The other day I went to the holocaust museum and it was horrible No air conditioning or cold drinks

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What do you get when you cross a pug and a beagle? A cross pug and a cross beagle.

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Q:What happened to the leprechaun when it jumped in the water? A:It got wet.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, My family is dead

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Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Because her inability to see or hear makes her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

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a woman walks into a stall with her five yr old daughter. as the mom starts to due her buisness the girl looks down and asks her mom "Mommy why do u have a beard on ur pe-pe?"

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Knock, knock Who's there? It's me Me who? Just open your damn door funny guy it's freezing out here I don't get it

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Why did the old man fall down the stairs and died? Because he had a stroke and never got life alert!

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Why did the black guy have a nice sterio? He has a well paying job and decided to treat himself.

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What do you call the worst band ever? Nickelback.

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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What's purple and smells like crap? Crap. I lied about the purple

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While walking along the beach, a man stubs his toe on a half buried lamp. He picks it up, dusts it off, and a enormous Genie appears in front of him. "You have released me from my 10,000 year imprisonment. I will grant you 3 wishes to repay you." says the Genie. The man quickly uses his 1st wish for wealth and the 2nd for the love of a beautiful woman. Unable to think of a 3rd wish and seeing the sunken look on the Genie's face, he wished for the Genie's freedom. The Genie uses his unrestrained powers to kill the man, resurrect Hitler and enslave the human race.

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Mila Kunis is fugly. Said no one ever.

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A man walks into a bar and has a wonderful time drinking with his friends, arrives home at a reasonable time and goes to bed.

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A girl asked for lip balm. She put some on and her lips exploded.

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what do you call a diver with no arms and no legs? a bobber

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Cheese

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Two muffins are cooking in the oven, they say nothing to one another as muffins can't talk

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12

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What do you call an Arabic man who crashed a plane into a business building? A careless pilot whose recklessness caused him to crash into a building. His stupidity and lack of plane control skill led to a horrible accident that involved the death of thousands of innocent people and the death of many business people's office pets.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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