What do you call a generally un likeable person who has a habit of drinking in a bar? A Bastard.

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Girl: What's up? Guy: If I told you, would you sit on it?

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why did Susie fall of the swing? she had no arms Knock Knock Who`s there? not Susie

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What's black and blue and made of poo? A drowning black guy, holding some blue poop

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why did the plant eat a banana? it was hungry

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What do you call a black man without a job? A man disenfranchised by the failing American economy.

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What did the virulent Homophobe do during the PRIDE national day of silence? He talked.

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Whats brown,looks like a.dike,and is a whore. Marcella

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What do you get when you cross something with another thing that one would normally not cross with the aforementioned noun? A better love story than Twilight.

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how do you get a blonde out of a tree? you politely ask her, then if all else fails call the local fire department

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How do you get 500 babies into one bathtub? a blender. How do you get them out? NACHOOOS

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My dad calls me a son of a bitch and I'm like "hey! You married her"

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Two muffins are being baked in an oven. One muffin says to the other muffin "Boy, it sure is getting hot in here," and the other muffin replies "yeah, that's because it's an oven."

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The teachers cat is a fat cat and his name is ... why do even whant to know you stalker

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Why did the little girl drop her ice cream cone? She got hit by a bus.

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In soviet Russia... there is a distinct probability that you will get mugged due to the high crime rate and gang ruled streets.

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What does a homeless man get for Valentines Day? Divorce papers

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was a woman...

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What does a blond see when she looks at a dog? A four legged mammal, refered to as canis lupus familiaris, or what is commonly known as a dog.

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yo mama so old she was a waiter at the last supper.

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There are two kinds of people in this world: those that finish their sentences

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What did the muffin say to the cup cake? nothing, muffins can't talk, and cup cakes can't hear.

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a doctor came into the room after receiving a woman's test results for lung cancer. the woman says, "is it negative or positive doctor?" the doctor looks at the woman and says, "it's negative, congratulations."

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A man walks into a bar The bartender asks: What would you like to drink?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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