Jared Gough is a slut

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A man walked up to a fork in the road. He bent down, picked it up, and continued on his journey.

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What's bigger than China and Smaller than my penis? Russia and a smaller penis.

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Have you seen Stevie Wanders new house? No. Neither has he.

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Dozer has a soul

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Knock knock Who's there? Johnny Johnny who? Names don't matter. Now shut up and let me in before I kill your family

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How many Druggies does it take to make toast. One.

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what do you call two mexicans playing basketball? juan on juan

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How do you get a Jewish man out of a pool? Ask him politely, for I'm sure he's a pleasant and reasonable fellow.

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Roses are Grey, Violets are Grey, Everything's Grey, I am a Dog.

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A Quadriplegic walked into a bar,

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms or legs

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Knock Knock. What's up? Oh, nothing much, you? Yeah, you know, same old, same old. Cool.

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Mary had a little lamb, the doctor fainted.

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1+1= 69

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69

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Why did little susie fall off the swing? because she had no arms. Knock knock who's there? not susie

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Mitch

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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What should you do if you are locked in the trunk of a car? Yell for help.

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A black man accidentally walks into a white man......they apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

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Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Because her inability to see or hear makes her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

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*Knock-Knock* "Who's there?" "The police, you're under arrest for the murder of your wife and your two children."

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being raped by a giant scorpion.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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