what does chuck norris use to cut scissors? another scissor.

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"Lassie, Lassie, come quick! Timmy is in the well!" "I'm a dog," replies Lassie. "You folks have ropes, ladders, and opposable thumbs. What the hell could I possibly do to help?" With that final act of disobedience, Lassie was turned into fertilizer.

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What do you call a muslim in an airport? A muslim going on vacation you racist bastard.

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. One says, "It is quite hot in here." This is a lie. Neither of the muffins spoke because in reality, Muffins are not only inanimate objects, they are not humans, and therefore they do not have the ability to speak in a comprehensible language.

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Q: what happens when you eat all the potatoes A: there all gone

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A father gives some golf balls to his son on his son's birthday. The son then goes into the woods with the golf balls, and then comes out without the golf balls. "What did you do with the golf balls?" asks the father. The son says nothing. On Christmas the father gives his son more golf balls, and the son does the same thing. He goes into the woods with them, and leaves without them. Again the father asks what he did with the golf balls, and the son says nothing. This happens for many holidays to come, until the son gets hit by a bus. In the ambulence, the father asks; "One last question ,what did you do with the golf balls?" The son dies

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Why did the horse escape from his stable? He didn't. He stayed there all night and his owner took him out the next day as the weather was beautiful.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A piolet you racist!

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Your sex life.

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Wife says to husband, who works is programmer, "Honey get out of bed there is a bug in the bed". Husband says "ok."

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Dave: Knock, knock Steven: Come in.

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A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender for 4 beers. The bartender replies, "One at a time, mate, will that work for you?" To which the man replies, "No", leaves, and drives his 1994 Toyota Corolla off of the road into the pit of a volcano.

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Q: How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? A: They beat her.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Violets are actually purple or white

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Why was Timmy so unpopular at school? Because he caught aids of his pet rock

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Yo mama so fat when she sat around the hous she sat AROUND the house

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What is worst then a blond trying to pass collage?....... There is nothin wrong with that

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What did all of the blind children sing on the bus ride? Nothing because they drove off a cliff

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Why are trees green? I have no idea

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a woman leaves the kitchen.......

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If you pull a pin out of a grenade, is it possible to put it back? I need a quick answer for this question.

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Q) What did the Hobo get for Xmas? A) Nothing

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What happened to the man that walked into the bar... He walked into the bar

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Why was the women not in the kitchen? Because she was probably doing something else

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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