What causes floods? Too much water.

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Those that want what is best for me, shall listen to me and do only whatever I want. Those that want ONLY what is best for me, underestimate me greatly. You who stand in the way if my will, claiming you want what is best for me, better move aside.

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i did not type this on 12/23/11 at 8:49:47

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even a blind squirrel finds a nut every now and then. but has a high probability of getting hit by a car and slowly dying from crushed limbs

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What do you call a snake with no arms? Normal. What do you call an amphibian with no arms? A caecilian. What do you call a girl with no arms? A poor, poor soul that is unfortunate enough to have had an amputation when young. Now, she can't go in public without being stared at. She can't catch herself when she trips. She can't ride a bike, bake cookies for her family, or be a NASA astronaut like she always dreamed. She is the normal ASDF Movie character.

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HAVE A GOOD DAY. DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO.

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Why didnt the boy go to school the next day? Because he killed himself due to bullying

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What do Kim Kardashian and a broken-down horse have in common? They will both eat oats out of your hand.

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Why did the drunk driver get into an accident? It was a woman.

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What's sad about a girl getting hit in the face with a shovel? The shovel got dented..

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Why did Billy start crying? Because he was abandoned at a young age- and was bullied since childhood in the orphanage.

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a white man a black man and an asian man had a few drinks at a bar. they all died from alcohol poisoning

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Why did Mary fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Who's there. Not Mary!!

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Your mother is so stupid that she was tested and proved to be mentally retarded.

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what did nena say in the library while her and her friends were on anti-jokes? I don't know. I wasn't there.

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A black man bites into a watermelon. Just kidding he was white.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. False. Violets are violet

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How do you wake up lady gaga? You poker face.

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Whats funnier than a dead baby tied to a tree? Everything, infant mortality is a very sad thing.

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So two Penn State administrators walk into a butt.

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people say i have big feet but you know what the say about people with big feet? :) big socks. sl

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How do you get a clown off of a swing? Hit him with an axe

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Friends are just like trees. They fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe.

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Roses are red, My name is Dave, This joke is pointless, microwave.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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