How much does a polar bear weigh? It depends, but most weigh around 775 to 1,200 pounds.

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Q: What did one Christmas ornament say to the other? A: I didn't know they could talk! Get me that ornament so I can chat with him!

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A blind man walks into a library.

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A zebra and a giraffe are out in a safari and they see some humans. And then the cow, was drinking, the man was milking the drink, when the giraffe was going to buy some milk. She said, the was yeah okay.

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i used to be gay. now i am bisexual.

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Patiant: Doctor Doctor i feel like a pair of curtains Doctor: ok Patiant: what shall i do ? Doctor: Go how and stop wasting my time

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How do you fit 100 Jews in a car? You can't

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How to confuse a dumbass: see next post.

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Why did the little girl miss 7 straight days of school? She died.

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Why did the man burp? Because gases escaped from his stomach and came out of his mouth.

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What's black and white and red all over? A dead Zebra

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How do you get a one armed Pollack out of a tree? Hold his family at gunpoint.

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How do you teach a kid to ski you strap it to the back of a polar bear

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What do you call a black man on your front porch? -Racism is a serious and non humorous problem.

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If you are what you eat, then imagine a prostitute.

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What should you do if you are locked in the trunk of a car? Yell for help.

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What do you say to a black man with a gun? Don't shoot me.

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Why was the boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face

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What did the farmer say to the cow that asked for food? No.

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Q: So I don't get it. Do women actually like not having penises and testicles? Do they genuinely enjoy it? A: Silly boy. Women ADORE not having penises and testicles. You just can't get your mind around someone having different preferences in anatomy than you.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks the horse, "Why the long face?" The horse cannot understand what the bartender said and instead finds it threatening, so it has a complete spasm and wrecks the whole bar.

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Q: What dosent a Jew and a pizza have in commen? A: The pizza dosent scream when you put it in the oven.

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Send "What Makes You Beautiful" Ringtone to your CellShowHideSong Notes - Go behind the words! You're insecure, don't know what for You're turning heads when you walk through the do-o-or Don't need make-up - to cover up Being the way that you are is eno-o-ough Everyone else in the room can see it Everyone else but you Baby you light up my world like nobody else The way that you flip your hair gets me overwhelmed the way you smile at the ground, it ain't hard to tell You don't know Oh oh You don't know you're beautiful! If only you saw what I could see you'd understand why I want you so desperatley Right now I'm looking at you and I can't believe You don't know Oh oh You don't know you're beautiful! Read more: ONE DIRECTION - WHAT MAKES YOU BEAUTIFUL LYRICS http://www.metrolyrics.com/what-makes-you-beautiful-lyrics-one-direction.html#ixzz1sJdk3KHD Copied from MetroLyrics.com

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What do a bunch of dead babies look like in a blender? I don't know I was too busy masturbating.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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