your moms so fat when she sat on your ipod it turned into an ipad

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Batman and Robin are about to get into the Batmobile. What does Batman say? "Get in the car Robin."

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France never surrender.

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why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, you tell me.

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Jesus can walk on water. Babies are 75% water. I can walk on babies. I am... In jail.

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How can you know your roommate is gay? His dick has the taste of shit

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Where did Ellen go after the explosion? Everywhere

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How many Caucasian American males does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

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How does a blind bit of difference differ from one that can see?

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How do you make a dick popsickle? ...IDK! I am asking you because you look gay.

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Whats brown and sticky? A stick

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? First of all, babies do not have the physical ability or the mental capacity to ever paint a wall, no matter how many of them there are. Second of all, they are dead which probably will not increase their chances of painting said wall.

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When Chuck Norris is bitten by a zombie, Chuck Norris doesn't turn into a zombie, the zombie turns into Chuck Norris

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what happens when a hamster bites your arm? your arm bleeds

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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How many napkins does it take to tack to the moon? Purple, snakes don't have elbows

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Your a bus driver, at the first stop, 4 people get on. At the second stop, 2 people get off. At the third stop, 7 people get off. At the fourth stop, everyone gets off. What is the bus drivers name?

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cancer

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why was little timmys mother so upset on mothers day? Because he had been abducted earlier that week

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Why is Skrillex bad at fishing? Lack of experience.

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jokes r dumb

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what do u call a hairy cow? Harry

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What do gamers call an abortion on quintuplets? PENTAKILL!!!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. He flapped his wings, hovered, and the road crossed beneath him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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