What do you say to a blind man in a sunglasses store? Nothing. Why do you feel the need to bother strangers while you needlessly shop at your local merchandise outlet?

Q: Why was the math book sad? A: Because he recently found out that his parents died in a tragic car accident.

One day, while a blonde was out driving her car, she ran into a truck. The truck's driver made her pull over into a parking lot and get out of the car. He took a piece of chalk and drew a circle on the pavement. He told her to stand in the middle and not leave the circle. Furious, he went over to her car and slashed the tires. The blonde got angry and called the cops, who proceeded to come and arrest him.

Technically rainbows are white.....and have gold at the end.

Take wrong turns

What is sticky and smelly - a stick

Want to hear a joke? Sorry, you're looking at the wrong website.

What do you call an Asian guy doing homework? A student

Why did the Elf stab the Gnome? Because I was on a bad acid trip.

Why can't dogs fly? Because they do not have wings.

What's it called when One Direction wins a Grammy Award? It's never going to happen; so why give it a name?

a man walks out of a gas station and sees an indian with his ear to the road. He walks up to him and the indian says "truck... ford truck... large man in front with flannel shirt and trucker cap... german sheperd in passenger seat... licence plate 4563u6." Amazed the other man says " wow, you can tell all of that just by listening to the road?" The indian says "no thats a the truck that ran over me five minuites ago"

What is worse then having no dad? Russian dad that hates you a lot and wishes you drawn in vodka.

Roses are red, Violets are blue. Some poems rhyme, Some don't.

Q: What's black, white, and red all over? A: A horribly maimed zebra.

What happens when you yank on someones nuts? They cry

Why did the Cookie Monster go to the Doctor? Because He had an inoperable tumor in his lower intestinal tract.

So a man walks into a bar and wonders why he walked into the building instead of simply just walking through the door. The man then realized that the building was if fact not a local bar, but instead a bowling alley. He was hallucinogenic and was in serious danger as he approached the candy man in the alley.

Some black guy grabs a white guys wallet. the black guy says " hey I think you dropped this"

Where's my baby??

What did Robin say to Batman before they entered the Batmobile? "Batman, I'm a necropheliac."

roses are red violets are blue I lost my dog to typhoid it was an unfortunate case of bed luck

Roses are flowers jordan does it for hours xxxxif ya know what i mean

Knock knock "Honey, could you get the door?" "I'm tired of doing everything here! Get you ass up and do it yourself!" "Well why don't you just go back to bar you whore?" "This marriage was a mistake, I'm going back to mother!" They divorced 5 months later.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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