i hate when mothers said " clean your room" me " why " mom " because we have guest coming " me " oh i am sorry i didn't know we are all gathering in my f**king room

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What do you get when you cross a pig and a cactus? A godless abomination that violates every ethical standard known to man.

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Why did Beethoven get rid of his chickens? Because they kept saying Bach bach Bach. No. Beethoven was deaf. He couldnt understand what they were saying.

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I asked the librarian where to find a specific book. She told me where it was.

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Boy: Mother, I'm dying! Mother: Ha, lol, I put poison in your cheese! Boy: MOTHER! Boy: *dies*. Mother: Ha, lol!

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I have an idea! You leave.

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What do you call a dinosaur that doesn't lay eggs? A male dinosaur

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What's the difference between a dead baby and an orange? One is a deceased human infant and the other is a delicious citrus fruit.

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Knock Know Who's there Interrupting ghost Interu--BOO!!! Ha HA!

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Please don't shoot me

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What did the jew do to his waiter? He explained how he had provided excellent service and left a very generous tip to applaud his efforts.

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How do you get 1,000 dead babies into a car? Blender How do you get them out? Straw

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Roses are red, Violets are blue if something smells bad, its gotta be you! Roses are red this much is true but violets are purple not f***ing blue!

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Why couldn't the boy in the wheelchair sue the man making fun of him? Because he couldn't get up the stairs to court.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue.... I hate your guts.

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An artist walks into a bar and orders a rum and ckoe. The bartender reads the first sentence and realizes the artist is dyslexic and fixes him a rum and coke.

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What do you call a bus full of white people? A Twinky!!!

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Q:What do you find in the middle of a pile of dead babies? A:Another dead baby!

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A ham sandwich walks into a bar, bartender says "We don't serve food here."

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What do Jay Williams, Lebron James, Candace Parker and Maya Moore have in common? They were all winners of the Morgan Wootten Player of the Year Award.

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Roses are red Violets are blue The last time I saw your mom I made you

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms

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Why was the snowman afraid of the sun? Because he would melt that day and die

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Why did the idiot take a selfie with his phone underwater? Because he's an idiot

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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