Yo mama's so ugly, She cured cancer.

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We are as to jokes as atheists are to religion.

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Why don't women wear watches? In the technologically advanced age that we live in, the watch is rapidly being replaced with other electronic devices that tell time, such as cell phones or iPods.

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Two hunters are in the woods. One of them clutches his chest, falls to the ground, and loses consciousness. In a panic, the other hunter calls 911 and tells the operator that his friend might be dead of a heart attack. The operator says "Before we send a coroner instead of an ambulance, first make sure he's dead." The hunter says "Alright." There is a pause and then BLAM! "Okay," says the hunter, "now what?" The operator follows standard procedures to keep the hunter on the phone, lucid and calm. 45 minutes later, police reach the scene, arrest the hunter and begin a months-long investigation. Forensics determines that the dead hunter was likely alive prior to being shot in the face at point-blank range. The defendant is charged with first-degree murder and receives a 30-year sentence. On the 9th year of his sentence, he is stabbed in the chest 6 times by an initiate in a rival prison gang and dies the next day. He was 53.

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How many alzheimers patients does it take to change a light bulb? How many? How many alzheimers patients does it take to change a light bulb?

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What do you call a homosexuall man? Homosexuall man.

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If you put two black men in an empty room, what will they do? They will most likely try to figure out why they have been put in such a confusing scenario. Then one of the black men will suggest the possibility that maybe they are being used as a subject of a joke. The other black man agrees then they both hang themselves since they have no other purpose in life.

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Why are the deserts so dry? Obama

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Why is Kim Jong Un so horrible? I forgot the rest of the joke but your mum is a whore

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Why did the girl fall off the swings? She didn't have arms

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There is a British man, a Mexican man,and a American man on a boat. The captain sad the boat is carrying to much weight so the each have to throw off something they have to much of. The Brit throws tea, The Mexican throws tacos, and The American throws the Mexican.

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Roses are Brown Violets are Brown Whos been shitting on my garden??

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What did the blind man say to his best friend? All i see is darkness and i want to end my life

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Why did little tommy fall in the well. Because he grew tired of his life of brutal Beatings and starvation, so he jumped.

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What do you do to someone you hate very much? You kill them.

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What did the african get for his birthday? an ounce of water, as water is very scares in his community and it is a great resource

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have a gun Get in the van

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Why do women wear perfume and makeup? Because they smell bad and are ugly.

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A young girl walks into a dark alley. She emerges a few minutes later unharmed and goes about her day.

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Roses are red violets are blue come on love show me you boobs/by kw

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I thoroughly dislike arabs, I lost both my parents in the events of 9/11.

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Which is longer? A rope...

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A muslim gets on a plane. He is then flown to his destination.

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Yo momma is so fat tat people yell TAXI, TAXI when she wears yellow.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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