what do you call a black man flying a plane? a pilot you racist.

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Q:Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? A:He slipped and fell. Q2:Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? A2:He was stapled to the first monkey. Q3:Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? A3:Peer pressure.

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Your mom is so fat she's overweight

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Roses are red Violets are blue This doesn't rhyme F*ck it

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What's black and white and red all over? A newspaper... used to clean up a crime scene.

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Twas brillig and the slithy toves did gyre and gimble in the wabe, all mimsy were the borogoves and the momeraths outgrabe

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poopoo

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How do you get a girl to pay for food? You Rape Her

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Whats the same between a baby and pizza? their both edible

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"How high are you?" "I don't know, sir." "Well, look at the god damn altimeter."

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What do you call 4 Mexicans at the bottom of the ocean? Cuatro sinco.

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Your mom is so stupid, she stole free samples.

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What's 9 + 10 19

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Sarah: Knock knock. Jim: Who’s there? Sarah: It’s me, Sarah. Open the door. Jim: It’s me Sarah open the door who? Sarah: Please Jim, it’s freezing out here. Jim: That wasn’t a very funny joke, Sarah. Sarah: Shut the fuck up and let me in. Jim: Ok.

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A young man was lost wandering in a field, when he came upon a small house. He knocked on the door and was greeted by a scary southern man with a shotgun in hands. "I'm lost," said the man. "Can you put me up for the night?" "Certainly," the man said, "but on one condition. If you so much as lay a finger on my daughter, I will shoot you with this shotgun." He couldn't have sex with the daughter anyway because he has severe erectile dysfunction.

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Whats blue and fuzzy? Blue fuzz. Whats pink and fuzzy? Blue fuzz that's embarrassed.

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I'm not here.

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Why did the drunk man puke? Because he was drunk.

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? He had no arms.

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Old Mother Hubbard Went to the cupboard, To give the poor dog a bone: When she came there, The cupboard was bare, And so the poor dog had none. So Old Mother Hubbard was reported for animal cruelty

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Why couldn't the Muslim eat pork? He didn't have a tongue.

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When life gives you lemons, you make lemonade. Well, that's going to be some horrible lemonade if life doesn't also give you water and sugar.

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How do you confuse a Muslim? - Rub his belly.

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I had an amnesia joke But it was written down on a slip of paper because someone else wrote it down. Let me just take it out & read it to you

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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