Why do women wear make-up and perfume? Because they are ugly and they smell bad.

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Why is an elephant big, gray and lumpy? Because if it was small, white and smooth it would be an Asprin.

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What's funnier than diarrhoea? Cancer What's funnier than cancer? The holocaust

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Sarah Jessica Parker walks into a bar. Bartender asks her, "why the long face?". She tells him it's from her parent's genes.

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How do you make someone to shut up You tell them to SHUT UP!

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What's worse than watching 5 homeless men have an orgy? Waking up and having to clean the sheets

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding an apple in your worm.

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What do you call a child sitting alone in the back of a bus? Anti-social and on the verge of depression.

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If the covalent bonds of two Hydrogen atoms and one Oxygen atom creates water, which subs are currently on the 5-dollar-foot-long menu at Subway?

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One day a farmer was planting his crops. All of a sudden he was hit by the magic school bus.

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Q: What did the magician do to cure his cold?? A: Took medicine!

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What did Jesus say when he was nailed to the cross? Please, not the nails.

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What's worse than stapling a baby to a tree? Stapling the same baby to ten trees.

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a dyslexic man came on this website thinking it was made by his aunt Tina keoj he was sadly mistaken. it was just a bunch of jokes about dyslexic men going into bars

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Why is the apple mushy? Because a car ran over it.

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Once upon a time, in a magical kingdom, there were too many similar jokes on anti-joke.com. One man thought he could be funny by writing a joke that referenced this, and be even funnier by referencing what he was referencing. Then he referenced that, then that, and so on until the layers of meta caused his brain to explode. Some of it landed in your mother's vagina.

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How do you stop the London riots? - You employ a a highly effective police tactic to diffuse the crisis as quickly as possible.

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Did you know Helen Keller has a pool? no oh well she does.

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Roses are red Violets are blue one plus one Equals two

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How do you kill Michael Jackson? You don't he is dead.

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A racist man walks into an all black church. He has no problem with the people there as he is a black man who hates caucasion people.

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Have u seen Ray Charles' piano "no" neither did he

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How do you make a dog say meow? Freeze it and put it through a woodchipper. (MEROWRRRR)

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What's brown and sounds like a bell? An old rusted bell.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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