What do you call a mouse that sings? Justin Bieber

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1234567890? ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand and says nothing to the man running the stand. Realizing that the duck might potentially keep patrons from approaching the stand, he packs up and moves elsewhere.

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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I'm Coming

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Connor is homosexuaI

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Whats red and smells like blue paint? Nothing really

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Seven was black

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The Lord said to John: "Go forth and receive eternal life" But John went fifth... So he won a toaster

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why did the blond cross the road? she doesnt know either

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guy 1: hey, i got a new dog. isn't he cute? guy 2: i just lit him on fire

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Why did the Vietnemese prostitute ask for the phone? Because she wanted to use the phone.

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So a Quadriplegic walks into a bar.....

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What's the difference between a whore and a blonde? There is not enough information to answer this question.

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A man and a woman walk into a bar... They both die from cerebral hemorrhages.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You know most poems rhyme, This one doesn't

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When does a cat not land on its feet? When it has paws.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To commit suicide thus getting to the other side(hell/heaven)

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Me: You want pie? You: Yeah what flavour? Me: Pie flavour.

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What? Yes.

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Why did Henry fall down the stairs? Nobody knows, nobody cares. Poor Henry.

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Nothing finding a worm in an apple is disgusting because worms are disgusting creature that shouldn't live in an apple

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Hey I just banged you, and it was crazy, delete my number, and keep the baby.

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What do you call an animal that is blue, fluffy and lives in the arctic? I don't know and that's why I'm asking you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops