Roses are red, Violets are blue. I hate flowers and am making fun of them by messing up this originally beautiful poem about those repulsive manisfestations of pure evil.

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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How many hours of sleep did Jimmy get last night? Zero, because he has insomnia. Jimmy got fired from his job today because of his lack of energy and motivation due to his disorder. His wife divorced Jimmy because he can no longer support her and their two kids.

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How many kids with ADHD does it take to change a lightbulb? I dont know lets go play on our bikes.

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One man walks on a bridge, another man sees him but doesn't really care about him.

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Knock knock Whose there? 4

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What is a dogs favorite color? Gray due to the fact that they cant see any other color

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How can you tell if your goldfish is male or female? Put some fishfood in the bowl, if he swims to the food it's a male, if she swims to the food it's a female.

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why did the black guy cross the street? to get to the package store.

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What do you do when a blond throws a grenade at you....you pull the pin and trow it back

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Why did nick and tyler visit anti-joke.com? Because they have nothing better to do.

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Why do bitches love cheese toast? 'Cuz bitches love cheese toast

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What's worse then ten dead babies in a garbage can? Being the one who found them.

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Why did the girl need a peice of gum after spending 20 minutes parked in the truck with her boyfriend? Because she had spent the last 20 minutes eating sweets, which she couldnt let her mom know she had eaten because her mom calls her fat everyday even though she only weighs 110 pounds, and forces her to only eat vegetables.

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How did the blonde die raking leaves? She fell out of the tree!

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Whats black, white, and read all over? Micheal Jackson reading a book while painting himself red.

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Q: How do you wake up Lady Gaga? A: You murder her friends and family.

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Person1: Why did the chicken cross the road? Person2: I dunno.-. to get to the other side? Person1: :( I dream of a better tomorrow where a chicken can cross the street without having his motives questioned

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Q: Why did the Honey Badger cross the road? A: Honey Badger don't care!!!

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So a man walks into a bar… and gets a bad bruise and a big bump.

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What's the best way to look 10 pounds thinner? Lose 10 pounds

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hickory dickory dock no one cares

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Why did the car stop? The driver had a stroke

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Q.Why was 6 crying? A.Because 7,8,9

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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