what do you a call quadriplegic man in a pile of leaves? Rustle

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What did the rake say to the shovel? Nothing, they're both inanimate objects.

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why am i on this site? cause its funny

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What's special about an Irish Parachute ? It's made in Ireland.

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What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a lightbulb? The lighbulb isn't also dying of terminal cancer.

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How did the black man get out of the bathroom? He opened the door.

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A man goes into the doctors office for his yearly checkup. The man waits patiently for several minutes until the doctor is ready to see him. After about ten minutes pass, the doctor is ready to see him. The man enters the doctors office. He passes all of the necessary tests. The doctor and him talk for a while. After a few minutes, the doctor says, "Okay, thanks for coming. See you next year." The man thanks the doctor and leaves.

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The Blonde Gets 100 % On Her Math Test

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What do you get when you cross a horse and a pony? A mule

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Knock Knock Who's there I have Alzheimer's I have Alzheimer's who? Knock Knock

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Why was the broom late? Cause he overSWEPT!!! ahahahahahaha!

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Why did the man get hit by a van? He was blind, and his guide dog was an idiot.

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Watch me whip, watch me nae nae

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An iguana walks out of a bar

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Q:Wats worse then cutting ur lawn A: diarea on a sunday morning

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a cat walks into a bar and orders a bowl of milk. the cat is then escorted out of the bar because a cat in a bar is unsanitary. and they do not serve milk.

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sticks and stones may break my bones but hemophilia will make me bleed to death

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A Mormon walks into a bar.

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How many Polacks does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One. A person's ethnicity or country of origin, or religion for that matter, would have no bearing on one's ability to perform the relatively simple task of installing a light-bulb. Furthermore, there is no reason to use the negative slur 'polack' when referring to a person of Polish descent.

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how did the fat man survive the plane crash? he didn't, he died like everyone else.

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Oxygen and magnesium are going out OMG Think science the you might get it If not O oxygen mg magnesium

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Several of our "name brothers" have been attacked threatened and questioned almost every night since when we last talked on the phone, it turns out that these people are not after me. But after you, they have no idea that I retired years ago, and while their information is limited, you got yourself someone that is selling information on the deep web intentionally, as far as we know he might be selling you out piece by piece, and as of this point, you might be in dire danger.

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Why was the girl running out of the school? Because her principal was trying to rape her.

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How many cupcakes are there in the world joe How many? I don't know I was asking you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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