Whats The Difference Between A Baby And A Watermelon ? You Can Throw One In The Air And Hit It With A Bat , And The Other Ones A Watermelon

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Why was the black man in prison? He was wrongly accused of a felony and the jury by whom he was tried was largely racist.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? A vet, so he/she can put it down.

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What did Stevie Wonders wife do when they got into fights? Re-Arrange the furniture

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what's the worst lie in the universe? I swear to god that was my last piece of gum

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What happens when you divide by zero? According to the limits in Calculus, 1/x as x approaches 0 becomes closer to infinity, so we can safely conclude that if we could divide by zero, it would be a form of infinity. Positive infinity for 1/0, negative infinity for -1/0 and unsigned infinity for 0/0, as zero has no sign.

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What did the hooker say to the black guy? How long do you want it for?

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3 blind mice walk into a bar. they have no idea of their surroundings and are quickly crushed to death.

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A Jew, an Irishman and a Russian walk into the bar and the bartender says, "Get the Hell out."

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What smells like peanut butter but looks like a penis? A penis, I lied about the peanut butter.

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why did the man blink because i put a gun to his head.

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How does a muslim make his parents proud? He gets good grades.

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Whats black and white with red all over? A dead panda

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I LIKE TURLES.

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Three men walk into a Bar.... You'd have thought at least one of them would have seen it !

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What is pink and fuzzy? Pink fuzz

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what did the blind santa say to the jewish child jewish people don't believe in santa...awkward.

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a fat kid walked up to me today at school and claimed he could do more pull ups than i. i found this very funny because i have known this boy since i was two months old, and he witnessed the day where i lost both of my arms to cancer.

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Why did the bird fall out of the sky? It had no wings.

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Did you go swimming in the Carribean Ocean? Yes, a shark ate my body, and killed me! Thank God I'm still alive!

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a cat walks into a bar and orders a bowl of milk. the cat is then escorted out of the bar because a cat in a bar is unsanitary. and they do not serve milk.

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roses are red violets are pink your nanas in the cowfeild with a bottle of stink... not really shes long gone.

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Why did the lion get lost? Because the jungle is massive

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Q: What did Steve say to his teacher on the first day of school? A: "My name is Steve."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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