Q: Why did the Japanese man fall off the cliff? A: He was pushed

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so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

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what is the difference between oral sex and anal sex? one has to deal with a butt

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What's blue, and smells like fish? A firetruck, I was kidding about the blue and fish.

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Why did the bones cross the street? They didn't. The dogs ate them.

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What's green and brown, and if it fell out of a tree on you it would kill you? A billiard table?

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women's rights.

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what do you say to the preacher when he walks into church? i dont fu***** know, im jewish.

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why did the clown cross the road? to kill everyone in the dark knight midnight premiere

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What do you call a gay African American Jewish German flight attendant who is addicted to many hard drugs? His name.

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What's black and white, and red all over? Old movies that have ketchup on them.

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pickle juice?

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A man with a broken arm is sitting in a hospital. He says, "Doctor, when my arm heals, will I be able to play the violin?" The doctor says, "Yes, with proper medical attention and rest, you will be able to." The man says, "That's great! Before I broke my arm, I really enjoyed playing the violin."

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A black man, a Muslim man, and a Jewish man walk into a bar so the bartender says, "Get the f*** out."

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Knock Knock Who's there? Its the pizza man. Get your yellow no good keister off my property before I pump your guts full of lead. 1,2...10

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Why couldn't the girl throw the baseball over the fence? She had no arms.

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Why did the tomato blush? It didn't - red is the natural colour for ripe tomatoes.

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Why did the batmobile lose a wheel? The joker was raping robin too hard

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Why'd the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead Why'd the second monkey fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the first monkey Why'd the third monkey fall out of the tree? peer pressure Why'd the fourth monkey fall out of the tree? his girlfriend broke up with him so he commited suicide Why'd the fifth monkey fall out of the tree? cuz it was a dumbass

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who is smarter than a human? a nerd

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A black man and a muslim enter a bar. The Black man pulls out a gun in an attempt to commit a robbery, however the muslim opened his jacket, screamed "Allah Akkbar" and blew himself up. Everyone died.

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What did the Jews say before they got of the bus? Let's make like a Jewish kid's forskin and get the hell out of here.

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How many raisins can you fit in a box? It depends on the size of the raisins and the box.

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Want to here a joke? Then get off this site!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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