Roses are red Violets r blue My name is Dave Microwave

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What do you call a man that goes to work every day to provide for his family? A spoon

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms

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Q: what do you call a black priest A: Coley s**t

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What did the white father tell his mexicon son and his wife as he left for work bye

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How do you get rid of door knocker? You run at them with a chainsaw.

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What do you call a black person flying an airplane? The pilot.

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Whais red and bad for your teeth? a brick

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John: Hey Bill, ORANGE you in the mood to go to a Phillies game? Bill: Yes! So let's make like a banana and raise our potassium levels drastically and leave right away to beat the rush hour traffic.

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Tool will release their 5th album this summer.

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Q: Why wouldn't the other kids play with Timmy at recess? A: Because he was a burn victim and had no face.

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Your Mom is so fat... Her doctor told her that if she didn't start watching her cholesterol she might suffer from heart related illness in the near future.

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What do you get if you put a lepper in front of a fan A mess

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What does a person with Alzheimer's do? To get to the other side.

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What do you call a person with no arms or legs rolling around in leaves? I don't know that seems like a highly improbable situation

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a duck walks into a bar, sits down and asks for grapes. the bartender says, "no, we don't serve grapes." so the duck leaves. the next day the duck goes back to the bar, takes a seat. "got any grapes?" the bartender says, "i already told you we don't serve grapes here. if you come in here and ask for grapes one more time, i'm going to staple your beak to the wall!" the duck leaves. the next day, the duck returns, sits at the bar and asks, "got any staples?" the bartender replies, "no, but there's an Office Max next door where you might find some."

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Vagina jokes aren't funny. Period. Damnit, ignore that.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Ed. Ed who? Ed Begley Jr.

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A black man walks into an all white bar. He was escorted out, ten months later he died of a heart attack

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What's worse? Cleaning a New York bathroom, or getting stabbed. WELL I DON'T GIVE A GOD DAMN!!! They both suck!

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Why was the clown murdered? Because it laughed at my cousin so he ran right into the icicle 10 times to the heart

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why was the blonde fired from the factory? she ate the maneger's fingers.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Some poems rhyme, Some don't.

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If a tree falls on a house and there's no one there to hear it....Why was there no woman in the kitchen?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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