Once upon a time there was beautiful princess, ONCE!

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Why did the man with no arms or legs fall out of the tree? Because he got shot.

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How do you find the population of Mexico? Send out a census

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what do you call a 40 year old man working at a burger king that dropped out of highschool dyslexic

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot.

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Why is justin bieber gay? because he is attracted to men

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What's the difference between a chair and an identical chair? Nothing.

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Roses are red violets are blue most poems rhyme but this one doesnt.,

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Q: What do you call a dog driving a car? A: A dog driving a car.

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how do you make a clown sad? you push it off a swing.

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How do you leave a guy in suspense ...

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How do you stop a baby from crawling in circles? Pick it up and put it in a crib, like a responsible parent.

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Q. How many men did it take to build a wall? A. None, the wall is already built.

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What do you call a hairy pussy? A cat.

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Why was the fat man crying? He was sentenced to the electric chair for a murder he didn't commit.

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What is 1 + 1 equal to? 2, because if you have one orange and if you add another orange, you will have 2 oranges, therefore 1 plus 1 is 2.

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What did the boy skip rocks with? -A rock

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What did hitler say to the jews? Die.

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What's eighteen inches long, stiff, and makes women scream at night? A twelve inch long penis that is erect, thus adding approximately one half of its flaccid size, and involved in the act of fornication with the female partner of the man whose penis I am describing. (Of course, it is ignorant and juvenile to assume that the man in question is heterosexual. He may be a homosexual, which is perfectly acceptable in these liberal times we live in, or he may in fact be single and not inclined towards a sexual preference of any kind. This is understandable due to the myriad complications of long-term relationships, a result of the infinite differences between the masculine and feminine psyches.)

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What's under there? I'm not falling for that one...

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To be eaten.

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What kind of animal eats and pisses on everything? Your mother. -Avery Vartanian

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What happened when Johnny fell off of his bike? He suffered a very tragic and fatal brain hemorrhage resulting in a lower population by a minute percentile that is undetectable by the US Census.

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How I seem math word problems Scenario: 2 astronauts kayaking in the Sahara desert Question: How many pancakes does it take to shingle a doghouse Answer: Purple, because ice cream has no bones

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops