How do you starve a Mexican? You stick him in a secure room and deprive him of food resources

What's green, little, and eats rocks? A Little Green Rock-Eater What's green and has a thousand wheels? A lawn, I lied about the wheels! If I were to throw a rock down the a whole in the center of the earth (straight through) what would happen? The Little Green Rock-Eater would eat it!

How do you make an idiot in suspense?

Why did the homeless man steal food from the local grocery store? He had not eaten in three days and was forced to steal or risk possible starvation.

If Hitler, Osama Bin Laden, and Charlie Sheen were in a room together and you had a gun with two bullets, who would you shoot? Well Hitler and Bin Laden are already dead, and Charlie probably wouldn't die. Plus, I honestly don't think I could bring myself to shoot someone.

How do you make a builder sad? You shit on his bricks.

Who has two thumbs and is happy? This girl! You're a girl?

What's the song that goes like, duh duh da duh duh duh da da do?

An elephant walks up to a camel and says why have you got a pair if boobs on your back, the camel the replies that's a funny question coming from someone with a dick on their face.

How do you get 100 midgets into a Mini? You have to manufacture a Mini large enough to accommodate 100 midgets. It wouldn't be street-legal, but at least the problem of getting 100 midgets into a Mini is solved.

What do an elephant, and a banana have in common? Neither one is an ambulance.

whats funnier than throwing a baby off a cliff cathcing him at the bottom with a pitch fork

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An Iranian, a Mexican, and an American are on an airplane. The plane is too heavy to take off, so to lighten the load, each person has to throw off something their country has a lot of. The Iranian throws off a nuclear bomb. The Mexican throws off a sombrero. The American throws off an apple pie.

Netflix and chill

What do you call a magic MAAAAAAAAAAAN? A magic man

I Never apologize, I'm sorry, that's just me

"Do you have Prince Albert in a can?" "No." "Good. Tobacco causes cancer."

What would you do for a Klondike Bar? Well I would open the freezer.

sorry, that was a really bad joke, joking just joking, of course we can chat later, you got something in particular to do?

69

Billy: Mom.... Dad, I have decided that I want to live on my own. Parents: Great son! We're so proud of you! Billy: Thanks for your support! Your luggage is outside by the taxi.

Whats white and looks like a bunny? a rabbit

Q: What do you call a black man's car being egged? A: A Hate Crime

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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