Roses are red, Violets are blue, What else is new?

What did the blind man say to his wife? -would you mind helping me upstairs, for I cannot see.

If someone tells you to look behind you do you? No

Why did everyone call the one-legged man Matt? Because that was his name.

Why did the elephant fall out of the tree? Because the branch broke.

How come fat people drive cars? It takes to long to ride a bike to McDonalds

How do u know someones running? They leave this????behind

Why did susie fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms... Why didn't she get up? She didn't have any legs... Why didn't anyone help her? She didn't have any friends. Then she died

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, My vagina is Red, Im on my period.

A blonde takes a test. She scores higher than her Asian friend.

What's black, white, and red all over? And interracial man with multiple stab wounds.

Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have AIDS, Now you do too!

A zebra walks into bar, the surrounding customers in the bar become very intrigued why this exotic creature has wandered from Africa into New york. Before they can come to a concluson animal control opens fire on the creature, splatering its organs onto the tables. This event ruined the night for most customers and they fileout of the bar calmly but sad

why did the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer left the gate open and chickens typically wonder with no obvious pattern to their movements.

If you play a Justin Bieber album backwards, I swear you can hear satanic messages... but even worse, if you play it forward, you hear Justin Bieber.

A grasshopper walks into a bar... Bartender: "hey we have a drink named after you!" Grasshopper: "What, Kevin?"

How Long Is A Chinaman's Name

Whats White and sticky? Semen

Whats pink and fluffy? Pink Fluff

What's sad about a mexican man dying in a car crash? He had a family that loved and cared for him.

Roses are red Violets are blue I can't rhyme The end

Knock Knock! Who's there? Santa isn't real.

I tried frying some fish today, and it started sizzling at me. I took it as a direct threat and started yelling at the stove. Eventually it stopped and dinner was ruined, but I was proud of myself for winning.

Why was the African american pulled over in New Jersey? He was 17 and didn't have his red stickers.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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