Has anyone told you, you look fat today?" "Because you don't.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

knock! knock! who's there? the police, your family died in a car crash!

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse replies "I'm a talking horse and that's what you ask me? On the day I just buried my only son?"

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Q: What's the difference between Bigfoot and an intelligent blonde? A: Whereas intelligent blondes are known to exist, most scientists discount the existence of Bigfoot and consider it to be a combination of folklore, misidentification, and hoax, rather than a living animal, in part because of the large numbers thought necessary to maintain a breeding population.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why did it take the rabbit so long to enter the rabbithole? Because he was hit by a truck and lost a lot of blood.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do you call something thats mostly made of wood, big, round and stupid A retarded version of the Knights of the round table

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why is the sky blue? Because it is.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Batman vs Superman the movie spoilers: Batman and Superman argue over how to handle some alien invaders, Batman wants to kill em, Superman believes he can save em. In the end they work together and save everybody. Moral: I hope they change the script, ever noticed how every hero vs hero themed movie/cartoon, ends up with them allying at the end? If ya do not believe me, just wait for the movie to come out.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Whay was 6 afraid of 7? 7 had an extra penis

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why'd humpty dumpy fall of the wall? Someone threw a fridge at him

thumb_up thumb_down +30

why did the chicken cross the road ask jake darby

thumb_up thumb_down -17

If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Q: How pregnancy test is performed in Somalia?! A: Shove a piece of bread between the legs of the women and if the bread is bitten when you take it out, she is pregnant!

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did rachels computer break ? Because she was using it in the road and got hit by a bus

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why'd the girl fall off her bike? She rode over a curb

thumb_up thumb_down -3

If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How many ecotards does it take to change a light globe? Ve Vill Change all ze light globes to use;less grey vuns and you vill luv it or else ve vill kill you to save ze planet

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What happen to the guy who stole the TV. He runs away as he fears the person that stoled his/her TV reports him/her to the police.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What do u call a beaner when he stands up 4 foot nothing

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A guy has spikey things in his butt, what happened?............... He fell on a cactus.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did they gay chicken say to the straight chicken? .... nothing, chickens dont speek.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What does Osama Bin Laden and the typical Western man have in common? Extensively modern p.o.r.n-o collections.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

how do you blindfold an asian...a piece of dental floss

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops