Your mother is so ugly corrective surgery would not be able to improve her appearance

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There once was a man from Peru, he couldn't fit into his shoe. He went to Brazil bought a big. Swallowed it and died.

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"Do you know the joke No me neither?" "No..." "Me neither..."

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Why did the elephant cross the road? It was the chickens day off. haha its funny

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watashi no namae wa ramune desu

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2 persons in an elevator then, one guy says: dude! smells like your sister! and the other guy is not there

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In Soviet Russia, man doesn't walk to the bar. The bar walks to the man!

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What's the difference between a blonde and a bowling ball? A blonde is a human woman and a bowling ball is an inanimate object used for the popular sport of bowling.

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A Rock accidentally fed a giraffe his fetuses conceived by a box of glue from Jewish Heritage that was made from marker sharpeners that fed paper to elephants while strumming a box of tissues to wipe up the mess from a box of chocolates Forest Gump feeds on your soul while a rock accidentally feeds a giraffe.

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Why did the Muslim man burn the American flag? The flag had touched the ground, which, by tradition, means it has to be disposed. And the proper way of disposing it is by burning.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven ate nine.

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How do fish die in water? The BP oil spill

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How do you stop a vehicle moving at high speeds? Apply the brakes in a reasonable fashion.

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What is worse than stepping on Lego bare foot? Mass genocide.

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roses are red, violets are blue, f*** you wh*re

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How do you make a bllind person cry? Slowly cut off their toes.

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What did the dog say to the cat before they fought? Lets fight

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Roses are red, My name is Dan, I have a gun, get in the van

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Knock knock Who's there? Hi I'm John from the jehovah witness society down the street and I'd love to talk to you about your beliefs! Would you like a pamphlet?

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Why couldn't the little seven year old girl paint her finger nails? She fell in front of a train.

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I had a dream, then i died in it and now i'm dead but who cares, how are you ?

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Justin Bieber's voice sounds like Michael J. Fox playing a theramin.

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A blonde girl walks into the local dry cleaners. She places a garment on the counter. "I'll be back tomorrow afternoon to pick up my dress." she says. "Come again?" says the clerk, cupping his ear. "I said 'I'LL BE BACK TOMORROW AFTERNOON TO PICK UP MY DRESS'," says the girl, this time louder.

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1.Why were the black men asked to leave the bar? Because it was a womens bar. 2.Why did the 40 year old get an erection? Because he was excited.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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