How did little jimmy survive the plane crash? He ate all the survivors, then when the helicopter arrived he ate them too and took the helicopter.

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Roses are red, Violets are violet.

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Whats green and has wheels? Grass...i lied about the wheels

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What's worse than losing your job? Getting repeatedly hit in the face with a brick after getting fired from your job.

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Uh... Justin, the most pointless man... I gotta cringe for a moment, I don't want to be mean here, but I think my body cell total opinion pool dropped a large quantity there, its not that I do not want you anymore, but, my body`s mass body cell total is kinda denying me... Actually I am denying IT... ACTUALLY WE ARE DENYING EACH OTHER, (which is totally awesome, united denial fighting against one another FOR DENYING THE MOST! BECAUSE COOPERATION IS FOR PUSSIES!) Anyway, hell I am dead tired, oh yeah, Justin... Man, Uh, who where you again?

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pants on the ground pants on the ground lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground

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why couldn't sarah ride the bike? She had cerebral Palsy

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To try and beat the oncoming car.

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What benefits came from the September 11th attacks? None. It was one of the most horrific tragedies in American History

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what do u call a black men standing on top of a church. holy shit

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What happened to the gay guy? He died of aids...

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Why do black men smell like horse poo? Because they showe horse shit in stables.

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Why was the boy kissing up to his parents? He only wanted them to say "I love you" for once.

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Rachel: Wanna hear a conundrum? Robby: Sure! Racheal: Vampire Value card.

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Why did a duck cross the street? It didn't. It was hit by a car.

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Why did Sally get hit with a fridge? Because someone threw a fridge at Sally Why would someone throw a fridge at her? Because Sally has no arms

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when the zombie apocolypse comes what do you do? you die

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Q: What did the monkey say to the parrot? A: I like trains so feed me bananas!

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Why couldn't the kitten drink its milk? Because his face was stapled to the wall.

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What did the black guy say to the white guy? The black guy said, "hello". They then proceeded to have a normal conversation.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree ? Because he was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was attached to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Because he thought it was a game. Why did the tree fall over? It thought it was a monkey.

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Whos there Not Susie What did Susie get for Christmas? I don't know , she never opened it. Who high fived Susie? No one Why did Susie die? She got shot in the face

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1. Go to the WRITE YOUR OWN! section on this website. 2. Check the box on "I have read and agreed to the Terms of Service." 3. The Submit button should become available for clicking. 4. Now uncheck the box. 5. Thumbs up if the Submit button is still available. -BG_Shank_A

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Hi I'm Ben What's your name? I forgot. Hi "I forgot" what's your name? Ben

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops