Why is Taylor sad? Because she's the middle of a human centipede.

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My Jimmy Saville advent calendar is rubbish. It only opens from 1 to 16.

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What did the apple say to the pear? ...Nothing they can't talk...

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Why did the cancerous elephant cross the road?

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My momma's so ugly she had to get plastic surgery. Now I need it.

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Why do Mexicans always have heart burn? Because the food is spicy.

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What did the fish say when he ran into a wall? Dam...

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A man who is down on his luck was told that when one door closes a window opens. So he jumped out.

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What's the only thing more horrible than trash can full of dead babies? A live one at the bottom. What's more horrible than that? He has to eat his way out. What's more horrible than that? He goes back for more. What's more horrible than that? This all took place in my garage while I was watching.

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What do you call a black pilot? Whatever his name is, you racist.

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what did the boy with cancer get for christmas? i dont know he's jewish

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Why was the boy crying? His mother has terminal cancer, and his father does not have the financial stability to cover the cost of the surgery and keep up on house payments and buying clothes and food for the children. He will be living in a foster home in a matter of a week.

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why did the blond get and abortion? because she was forcefully raped by her 42 year old boy friend and felt she could not raise a child on her own.

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What more orange that a lime? Most things.

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An englishman, an irishman and a scotsman walked into a bar. They were all lawyers out on lunch break and happened to walk into the same building. They laughed about the coincidence over the a drink

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What is worse than a dog bite? A shark bite.

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What happened the magic tractor? It turned into the feild!

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What do u when life gives u lemons? U put them in your iced tea.

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What's the difference between a dead baby and an orange? One is a deceased human infant and the other is a delicious citrus fruit.

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what did the lesbian say to the man? I don't like penis

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What do you call cheese that's mine? My cheese

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You know what a thief's kid receive on christmas? Your bike!

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Vagina (Note: If you are gay just move on by.)

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A young girl falls off a swing, she is paralysed from the neck down and unable to walk every agian.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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