A man walks into a room with a sly grin on his face, "Tom, have I got a joke to tell YOU!" Tom hurriedly shoos Susie into her bedroom and tells her to lock the door and not open it no matter what. Tom turns to the man, "I've told you twice before to never come back here, I'm beginning to think that you probably don't take what I say very seriously because you might have some sort of chemical imbalance or something in your head, or maybe you're obsessed with my family or something!" The man hangs his head in shame and agrees with Tom, but Tom still had to do something about the intruder so he called the cops. The cops took him to get psychologically analyzed, but Tom didn't know this because he only cared that his daughter Susie was safe and he also doesn't have access to the testing facility's records. Tom is an only father.

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If you are riding on a broomstick and it breaks in the middle of the ocean... How many pieces of toast does it take to fill a light house? Purple, because Oranges cannot fly.

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What's worse than the holocaust? Dropping your biscuit in your cup of tea.

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Why was the plumber sad? Because his whole family died in a plane crash.

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What did timothy say after he went to go golf? - I just went golfing

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whats really hot the sun

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your a towel.

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Why couldn't the mexican buy a boat? Because he couldn't afford it

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I saw a bull go into a public toilet and defacitate! Bullshit!!!!!! hahahahahahahaha!

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A Black man, a Mexican, and a Midget, get in a car. They drive to the county fair and get snow cones and have a really fun time.

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Why did the black guy jump over the fence ? The holocost.

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A horse walks into a bar. The barman says 'who the f*ck let a horse in here, get it out now'.

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Why did Billy fall off the Empire State building? He didn't fall, he jumped. He decided to commit suicide due to his lack of friends, caring parents, low self-esteem, and self-concious issues. Billy really needed a therapist.

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guess what? WHAT? Idk.

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Q. What do you tell a women with two black eyes? A. Stop pissing him off!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? ..... he didn't

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A shark walks into a bar and the bartender says why the long face. The shark replies i dont have cancer just a terrible drinking problem.

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Yo mama is so fat , she died of a heart condition

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What did the guy say when he dropped his baby? "oh no!"

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Q. what sucks A. getting robbed loosing your family and then you die by cancer

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Who's white and tries his best? Steve Nash

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How is a Jew and a White Person alike. 'cuz you touch yourself.

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whats blue and fluffy? BLUE FLUFF

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What do you call a psychic midget who has escaped from prison? Wanted by the police.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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