whats worse than failing your maths test? getting aids

What do you call a tennis match between Helen Keller and Stevie Wonder? An anachronistic hypothetical sporting event that would never happen.

Q: What is a laptop that sings? A: A Dell

Your dad is so fat that he is on a diet.

What is red white and blue Blood. I was lying about the white and blue.

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped by a giant scorpian. Whats worse than getting raped by a giant scorpian? Getting tortured to death. Whats worse than being tortured to death? Getting raped by a giant scorpian, and getting tortured to death. Whats worse than that? Getting raped by a giant scorpian, getting tortured to death, and finding a worm in your apple.

How do you get a blonde to tell time? By asking her what time is it.

How do you get a one armed Polish man out of a tree? With a ladder, he needs help.

What happened to Jillian when she walked out the door? She got hit by a bus A. Knock knock B. Whos there? A. Not Jillian

Who has lots of friends, but smells like urinate feceas? Smelly McD, I lied about the friends.

What did the black man do when he walked into the bar? He went up the bartender and bought a beer.

Q. What's worst than getting kicked in the balls ? A. The holacaust

There was a 4-car accident in Mexico today. 87 people died.

Whats a Quires favorite type of sport?--- A contact sport

Why do Teenagers, mostly girls between the ages of 12-17 love Justin Bieber? Because he promotes himself worldwide and makes sure that girls know who he is thus creating a fan base that will be large enough to promote his career, which ensures him a safe financial future.

What is it called when a black man does cocaine? A felony.

Everybody love food when they are hungry

What does a cookie and the twin towers have in common? They both crumble.

What do you call a guy who stabs cereal? Mentally confused.

What did the baby get for his birthday? An Abortion.

yo mama so fat she died from a heart attack

"Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave."

Q. You are driving a car. In front of you there is a camion driving at your same speed. Behind you there is a helicopter flying at your same speed at the ground level. On your left there is an ambulance driving at your same speed and on your right there is a ravine. How do you get out from this horrible situation? A. Get off the carousel.

Knock knock. Who's there? the police.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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