What did the man with tourettes yell on an airplane? He yelled bomb, and was gunned down by 2 federal marshals, one of which's stray bullets happened to hit a small child with autism.

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How am I supposed to eat soup without an envelope?

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what's worse than dropping half your sandwich? Getting hit in the face with a sledgehammer

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What's the deal with airline food? Food tastes different on an airplane. The atmosphere dries out your nose, the air pressure numbs 1/3 of your taste buds, and low humidity levels give you cotton mouth. These factors cause the food to taste worse than it normally would.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue,All you HATERS of J. Bieber, Go suck your MOTHER.

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Knock Knock Who's There Trick or Treat!!!

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Whats the worse than dieing of cancer, dieing alone and having AIDS

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Why was the boy cold? Because he couldn't afford clothing.

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Why did the man fall over? He was blind.

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A woman woke up next to her husband that was already awake. She said "F*** you" and walked out of the house. On the other side of the world, a horse is giving birth to a chihuahua.

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Q: What do you call a robot in a concert? A: Electric fan

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So three philosophers walk into a bar. Is it necessarily the case that they walk into a bar?

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How many Jews foes it take to screw in a lightbulb? 1...like... I'm confused that you... I mean screwing in a lightbulb isn't that hard.

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a man walks into a bar several people leave as they can see the potential danger in the situation. - the man (also so known as a hippo) was Matt Ross

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead

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Why were there only 5,000 Mexicans at the Battle of Alamo? They only had 1250 trucks.

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why did chuck norris walk on water? because he's chuck norris

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I was jacking off I don't use my hand tho, I just use my gf's vagiina

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I don't often drink beer. But when I do, I recklessly beat my wife and kids.

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what's worse than a pile of dead babies? a pile of dead babies with a live one at the bottom eating its way out.

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What's brown and sticky? Poop.

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a man was beating his wife his wife asks him to stop he says no and continues beating her

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Why do thieves shower before undertaking a robbery? Probably part of their morning routine.

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What happens when you shoot a bear and you kill it? It dies.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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