An Irish man, Scots man and a Welsh man walk into a bar. The barman says, "what is this some kind of joke?!" Peter, who lives in Cardiff, returned home, depressed that he is viewed as some sort of clown. It reminded him of when he was a school boy; a giant spot appeared on his nose. The kids just laughed at him. "Don't worry Peter" he said to himself, "It will all be over now... He later hung himself. His family have been informed.

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What's red and looks like a bucket? A red bucket. What's blue and looks like a bucket? A red bucket in disguise.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms Knock knock Who's there Not Suzie

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the sky is green no it is not

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Q. What do you call cheese that's not yours? A. Stolen, you're under arrest.

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Guns don't kill people; high speed bullets and sharp projectiles launched at high speeds usually inflict painful and possibly fatal wounds that may kill someone. That someone loves and is loved by others.

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Why did the farmer cross the road? To catch the chicken

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Ask me if I'm on a horse. Are you on a horse? Um no horses are overrated.

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What's the difference between a model and a baby? I didn't have sex with a model last night.

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Breanna baked a pie. what kind of pie was it? A JIMMY PAI

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What do you get when you cross a monkey and a fish? An unlikely premise upon which to base a joke

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When life throws you melons, You probably won't catch them.

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my uncle used to tickle me.. he's in prison for child abuse

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Two Jews, three Nazis, and a black guy go into a bar. Where they have a spirited debate about Canadian football. And leave without coming to any conclusions.

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If David has 40 chocolate bars and eats 35 what does David have now? Diabetes, David has diabetes.

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What did the limp dick say to the vagina? Sorry, I'm a poof.

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I may have alzheimer's but at least I don't have alzheimer's.

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what did the postman say to the dog, nothing he doesnt speak dog....... but his mother in law does.

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Uh, "Abel", seriously get over here and then get some sleep, not only did you get the code all wrong, there is no number to be deciphered at all, besides its called a laptop with a battery. Speaking of general dumbass... You have not changed the least, you really remind me of a cruel, sloppy, less disciplined (except the wise cracking thing Nero resorted to to push me away and apparently dodge gun fire, maybe his way of handling nerves. You might look like him, but personality wise you are completely different, cruel, sloppy, graphical, I mean did you ever see Nero get angry? I never did. That said Neo-Nero, you are a nice guy too, especially if you get here fast enough, I mean this place is freezing.

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"What's up?" "A movie about an old man who takes his house to South America by tying balloons to it, who accidentally brings along a young boy with him and they have an adventure."

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knock knock who's there? to to who? to whom*

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WHART++EWEEEEEEEP FLARPEN CARPEN FLARP

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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom? (Other): "Because the P is silent." Because they're extinct.

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How do you get Helen Keller to keep a secret? You politely ask her not to tell anyone.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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