Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It got shot. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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There were two planes to take off.. One did, the other not at all..

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What should you do when a man carrying a stuffed tortoise tries to break into your house? Call the police.

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whats white and sticking?... glue, you dirty bastard

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If a vegetarian only eats vegetables, then what does a humanitarian eat?

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Why did the little girl with no arms an legs cry? Because she fell off the swing.

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A blonde went to a hair dresser's one day, listening to a walkman. The hair dresser asked her what she wanted, and the blonde replied, "I need to get my hair trimmed, just make sure that you do not take these headphones off." The woman looked at the blonde, surprised, but did as she was told. While she was brushing the blonde's hair, she accidentally bumped the headphones, knocking them to the ground. As she bent down to pick them up, the blonde fell over, onto the floor. The hair dresser was very confused. She picked up the head phones and listened. This is what she heard..."breath in...breath out...breath in...breath out..."!

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why did the chicken cross the road Why not

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Wishing to teach his donkey not to eat, a pedant did not offer him any food. When the donkey died of hunger, he said: ‘I’ve had a great loss. Just when he had learned not to eat, he died.

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I was walking down the street one day when suddenly, a chicken crossed the road. Apparently it wanted to cross to the other side.

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Q:If a lesbian woman is wearing a jean jacket, high heels, camouflage shorts, and sunglasses, what gender is she ? A: Sheep.

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Why did the american block the road? Because he just ate at Mc donalds.

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How do you put on a condom Very Carefully

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Why was the bear gay. He grew up in a disfunctional home.

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Roses are red, Violets are violet, hence the name Violets.

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What do black people eat for breakfast? Cereal.

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A man walks into a bar and the barman says "Why the long face?" And the man replies "I am severely deformed".

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whats worse than the Holocaust....6 million Jews

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How do you call a black man? By his first name.

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BALL SO HARD... That I got kicked off the team for intentionally fouling other players whenever I got on the court, I'm sorry

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My house is on fire I'll probably die posting this joke

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What's the warmest organ in a dead baby's body? My penis

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Why did the gambling addict go into the casino? To use the bathroom

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A: B: No pun intended.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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