Knock, knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor Who? It's Doctor Green. I've got some bad news about your test results. Can I come in?

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What did God say when he made the first black person? I have just added a significant element of diversity to the human species. Intolerance between ethnicities will surely prove to be an obstacle in societal progression, creating hardships for many. I know this because I am God.

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A blonde walks into a bar; she orders and enjoys her drink and then leaves with her thirst quenched.

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Racial Equality

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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What's dry and unpleasant to eat? Sand.

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Why was girl happy on the day she found out she wasn't pregnant? -It was her birthday.

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Why did the dude fall? Because he tripped over a stick.

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What is better than a Beer? Two Beers.

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Barney is a dinosaur We see on medication! And when we are high on drugs He's a hallucination!

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A Jewish person had a robber in their house. Who broke in? Adolf Hitler

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When Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the world, He broke his foot because every human being that kicks such a solid structure would break their foot.

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Why is mario red? His mother beat him as a child.

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Take part of what?

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What's better than a worm in your apple? No worms in your apple.

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Me "knock knock" Tramp "who's there" Me "nobody you havent got a door"

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If Chuck Norris has $5 and you have $5, you both have the same amount of money

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who needs to get a different hairstyle to his boyo? josh roberts

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A Mormon walks into a bar.

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Three construction workers are high up on a building when they decide to take their lunch break there. The three open their respective lunches, converse pleasantly, and enjoy the fine weather.

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Do you love me? No.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was a known serial killer.

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The Labour Party.

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how many cucumbers dos it take to change a light bulb? none. cucumbers cant change light bulbs. dumbass.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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