Knock knock Who's there? No one ever mentioned someone named "there" it's me, Jim

your mother is so heavily obese, she became one of the 60 million individuals in America who are obese today.

what's funnier than a pile of dead babies? pretty much everything because dead babies aren't a laughing matter

George Bush.

What do you call a black priest? Holy Crap

What do you feel when you kill a terrorist? Recoil -USMC

What is long, erect, and 12 inches long? A ruler.

what did the african boy get for christmas? what does his ethnicity or his place of origin have anything to do with what he gets for christmas

Hey i just met you and this is crazy, but heres my gamertag so party up maybe?

What is the loneliest number to exist? Zero. Except it's not lonely. I'm just saying there are zero lonely numbers. Numbers aren't sentient. They can't feel loneliness.

What's the difference between a duck?

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Somebody pushed it.

mario squashes another goomba when his wife hears of this he kills her 3 children with a gun and hangs herself.

When's the best time to go to the dentist? When you have an appointment.

How long can penguins hold their breath underwater? Long enough for you to eat a baby and then cover for it.

So one day There's a normal average day cheerio walking down the street, just walking along, when all-of-a-sudden he sees the most gorgous frosted cheerio in the world. This frosted cheerio has the most out smooth curves and just sparkles all the time and he immiediately falls in love with this frosted cheerio. So he walks up to the Frosted cheerio and says "Oh my goodness, you are the most beautifal frosted cheerio i have ever seen in my entire life, your just so stunning! Do you wanna marry me?" "Oh thats so sweet of you" said the Frosted Cheerio "but we could never be together because im a gorgous frosted cheerio and your just a normal cheerio". Determined, the Cheerio decides to clean up his act, goes and quits his job at the newsstand and applies for a job at applebees working his way up through the chain of command until a few months later when he finally is manage and becomes a Honey nut cheerio. He then goes to the Beautifal Frosted Cheerio and says "Look at me now! Im a Honey Nut cheerio and we can be together!" "Oh i do appreciate the effort" says the frosted cheerio "But im a frosted cheerio and your just a honey nut cheerio and i dont think it would work out". Even more determined, the honey nut cheerio decides to quit his job at the applebees and decides to go to college and after 8 years of intensive practice, the Honey nut cheerio finally has his Doctor's degree in Optomology and becomes a Frosted Cheerio. He then runs to the Frosted cheerio and says "Look! Im finally a frosted cheerio we can finally be together!" "Oh, Wow" says the beautifal frosted cheerio "Now we can be together!" The two frosted cheerios go on to have an incredibly happy marraige and are in the process of naming their first born child. The husband cheerio goes to the bookstore and buys a young cheerio name book, but after many hours of searching the book has no good names. So the husband goes all the way across the country to get an even bigger book of baby cheerio names and yet, they still cannot find a good name for the first born. Taking a break from finding the name of their first born child, the couple visits their local carnival and after going on many rides the wife becomes quite thirsty so she asks her husband " Honey, could you fetch me a glass of sprite? so the Husband goes to the Sprite line and he waits and waits but the line is just too long. "Im really sorry dear, but the sprite line was just too long" "Oh its fine honey you can just get me some Coke" Happy to get his wife some beverage the cheerio finds the coke line but yet again finds that the line is just too long. "Honey, Im really sorry but the coke line was just way too long" Dissapointed, but still thirst the wife says " Well i guess i could settle for some fruit punch" So the husband leaves but unfortunatly, There was no punch line.

why did the man paint his house? because he never wanted to paint his house

the moment right after you finish the last harry potter and remember the world wasn't saved and you still have cancer

What did the priest say to the rabbi ? I'm gay.

What do u call a black astronaut? An astronaut, you racist prick

A Jew walks into a wall with a boner. He breaks his nose.

What do black men do in the South? Hang around

You`re honor, he fell off the staircase, I demand that staircase ends up in jail! Case closed.

Q. What's green and will kill you if it falls out of a tree A. A pool table

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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