How many nails does it take to build a house? As many as it takes to get the job done.

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What did the salami say to the ham? Nothing; meat can not talk

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A: Hi I am a Mormon B: I know I'm one of your wifes

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Your mom is so fat, she has crippling depression and has tried killing herself three times.

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Why was the prostitute's throat sore? Allergies.

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what is black and hangs from the tree in my back yard? a moldy apple.

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Fred and DooDah go to their favorite lake to fish. After getting out on the water, DooDah hooks a huge fish, which pulls him overboard, and he drowns. Fred is brokenhearted and goes to tell DooDah's wife the news. She opens the door and hears Fred sing: "Guess who drowned in the lake today? DooDah! DooDah!"

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How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to take three harpoons to the chest and still manage to feast on a family of baby seals...... Hi my name is Joey

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what did the cab driver say to the black man when he got into his cab? Where to, sir?

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Daisies are green, poppies are white, I have a headache.

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Why did the blonde get fired from the M&M factory? Because she was a very poor worker.

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Hair

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Why shouldn't you tell a joke during an earthquake. Cause it is not the time nor the place to tell a joke

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A man walks into a bar, it's funny because he is an alcholholic

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Why was the Jew so happy? He had a good day

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Whats black, blue, and red all over? A man who has just been severally beaten.

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A muslin walks into a bar, and has the same equal rights as everyone else and orders a pint of fosters.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was a skank.

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i heart wiener

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Why do christians believe in God? Because believing in God is fundemental in their belief system; if they did not believe in God they simply wouldn't be christians. Muslims are in a similar predicament.

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Q: What happens when your name is Gretchen Wieners? A: Nothing. your last name is a male sex organ

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A zen master walks up to a hot dog vendor and says, "Make me one with everything." The vendor says, "Sorry, we're out of relish." Then the zen master tells him, "Sir, I don't think you get the joke. As you can see by my long silk robes and fu manchu, I am clearly a zen master. And I have used a pun that would make you think I were asking for enlightenment from a hot dog." The vendor then says, "We don't take too kindly to wise guys here." And then the prick gets up and tosses me into the street!

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Why cant African children read? While there are many contributing factors the largest would probably be the lack of a standardized education system mainly due to the logistical factors involved in reaching so many wide spread communities. Also the current economic climate and general disregard for civilians by the governments in these area would suggest that the states' focus would be on other issues besides the welfare of their citizens, this is probably similar to other countries in similar situations such as middle eastern, eastern european, and latin and south america. Then again, not really being educated on this issue in almost any way, has probably contributed to a broad generalization, and so the premise of this joke is most likely flawed in any case.

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What's funnier than a dead baby? An episode of 'Friends'.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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