A priest, a Muslim and a Rabbi sit next to each other on a plane they say nothing to each other during the flight and reach their destinations safely.

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What do Elephants and Grapes have in common? They are both purple, except the Elephant.

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#So tell me what you want, what you really really want, so tell me what you want, what you really really want.# OhOk then. I'll take that photo of your mother.

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What do you do if your computer breaks: Go on your phone. What do you do if your phone breaks: Go on you iPod What do you do if your iPod breaks: Then your screwed and you should get a Job and learn not to break things.

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What did Harry Potter say when he lost his wand? Where's my wand?

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Bob: "Did you eat my sandwich?" Alex: "I am your sandwich."

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Ever had Ethiopian food? Neither have they.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm using my hand but thinking of you.

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What's black and red and can go through time. I don't know but you have cancer and are going to die very soon.

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whats red and hard to eat a brick.

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What do you call a baby that fell in lava Dead

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Two fish are in a tank. One is driving, the other is operating the gun. Two soldiers are in a tank. They both drown.

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A lady was walking to the grocery store as she was walking she saw a old lady with a dog behind them where two black merses and about 200 women behind the merses. The lady Rushes over and ask '' Maim i am sorry to bother you but i would like to know who you lost and how?'' The old lady paused for a minute and awnsered '' I lost my husband and mother in law, Well My husband had just walked in to the house and my new dog went and ferousiously atacted him my mother in law had been living with us at the time she the jumped in and tried to help him They both died because of blood loss'' The lady looked at her with simpathy and thought i feel sorry for her husband and his mother she then asked '' Can i barrow your dog'' the old lady looked puzzled and said '' Get in line '' The lady walked to the end of the line as the dog was Passed to a women and taken home then passed back. When the women got her turn she thought do i want to kill my husband then she thought yes

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What happened after Peter broke his toe? He went into cardiac arrest and died.

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Boy: Hey girl, the voices in my head tole me to come over and talk to you. Girl: ... *walks away*

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Q: What would Martin Luther King Jr. be if he was white? A: Alive

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whats red white and blue? i dont know

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A guy walks into a bar and asks a nice looking girl if he can buy her a drink. She promptly rejects the offer.

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What's the anonymous name for vampire hunters? The KKK.

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A Horse walks into a Bar. The barman says "Why the long face?" The Horse had cancer.

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Abe Lincoln, George Washington, George Bush and Barack Obama are sitting at a table at a bar. They all realize that none of them know each other, wonder when in time they are, have mental breakdowns, and run screaming into the night.

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There are two types of people in this world, those that can extrapolate from incomplete data

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whats the best thing ever to happen to chuk norris ? he was born !!!!

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Miss Polly had a Dolly who was sick sick sick So she called for the Doctor to come quick quick quick The doctor came with his bag and his hat And he knocked on the door with a rat-tat-tat. He looked at Polly's Dolly and he shook his head. He said she had leprosy and must have all her limbs amputated.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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