water, hydrated silica, glycerin, sorbitol, PVM/MA copolymer, sodium lauryl sulfate, flavor, cellulose gum, sodium hydroxide, propylene glycol, carrageenan, sodium saccharin, titanium dioxide all adds up to colgate. SO AS A MATTER OF FACT, CHEESE PLUS PIE IS CHICKEN. CONSIDERING THE FACT THAT I LIKE SAYING CHEESE, JACK AND JILL WENT UP THE HILL BECAUSE THEY WERE BAGELS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Q. whats red and sits in a hairdressers? A. a baby getting its hair cut with a potato peeler

So a guy walks up to a gay guy and says: "You are a fag." The gay guy says: "That is very offensive, you jerk." So the guy says: "Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know what it meant" and the gay guy says: "I accept your apology." Then the gay guy crosses the street and gets hit by a bus

Uh... What was emulating again?

What does mens "man sauce" and babies have in common? They're both fun to make and easy to kill...

Once upon a time, there was a cat. He died.

How do mummies keep there secrets wrapped up? They are dead.

Womens Rights.

"Why is Barney purple and green?" "Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way"

what comes in tube and smells like toothpaste? toothpaste

Your mom walks into a bar.

Q: Were yyoouu talking smack about me? A: what? Q: did i studder? A:yeah you said yyoouu Q: well were ya A: no Q: oh ok.. A: k bye..

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because I hit her with a shovel.

whats a great gift to share with small children? Ebola

Covert trance, black Ops, and something I kinda made up myself. The first two are basically using suggestions without the victim being aware of it, that is how that famous bank robber that just asks nicely for all the cash and gets it succeeds. The other is tricking the "allmighty" subconcious and again, my own invention people claim its called "this and that", I know, because I coined most of the terms. Anyway, you put people into a deep state of trance, you tell them to take a step forward into the sea, and well, you actually led them down the top of a skyscraper or something fun... "Now... Suck on the lollipop I have between my, okay ill stop"

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because, 32!

Why Americans are so bad at League of Legends? Because they can't defend their towers.

How many chickens does it take to screw in a light bulb none, because chickens do not have opposable thumbs,therefore prevents them from preforming such a remedial task.

So this drunk guy pokes this girl. 4 months later she has a misscarrage

What is the worse joke to tell a Orpahn Knock Knock Whos there not your parents

what did the food critic say when he was handed a snickers? I'm allergic to peanut butter

roses are red, violets are blue, im a bad poet, text me. LMFAO

your mother is a well respected woman in society and makes delicious cookies.

A: What do you call a Jew with only one arm on Christmas? B: An amputee.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...