Why was Uncle Monty's head damn tasty? Because he shoved it up a horses arse when it needed a shit.

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so he says "aaahhh". then i threw a fridge at him

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What did the frog say when he heard his family was dead? "ribbit"

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding two worms in your apple.

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? She had no arms or legs. A.Knock knock B. Who's there? A.Not Susie

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Why is it bad to have 10 blond girls in a closet at the same time? The closet is a very compacted space and one of them is a claustrophobic.

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Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear, Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair, Fuzzy Wuzzy had cancer.

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no one walks in to a bar bar tender: shit!

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how did the tree fall on the woman? it didnt, trees dont grow in kitchens

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What do you get when you cross the motorway with a lottery ticket? You get knocked down and killed.

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What's purple and green and has a criminal record including two counts of armed robbery, five counts of possession with intent to sell, one count of attempted murder, several citations for underage drinking, and a parking ticket? Barney, but ignore all that other stuff. His record was expunged.

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The first cow: are you worried about mad cow disease? the second cow: no, im a helicopter

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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Why did Billy go into the white van? Because his parents came to pick him up from school.

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why did the chicken cross the road??? I don't know, that's why I asked you -_-

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What do you call a pair of owls? Two owls.

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whats brown and black and sits in a tree...... a bird

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Why did Sarah limp to school? Because she got hit by a tree

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A worm in your intestinal tract.

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What is a holocaust survivors favorite food nothing

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A Frenchman an Italian and an American were setting in a bar drinking and talking. The Frenchman said he made love to his wife five times last night. She said if I died she would never get married again. The Italian said said he made love to his wife ten times last night and that she said if he ever died she would kill her self. They asked the American how many times he made love to his wife last night. He said I'm a widower. She died in the 9/11 attacks.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Your dog pooped on my lawn Now my violets are even more blue

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roses are red carnations are white dont go to bed or ill f**k your friend dwite

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what did the guy do at the funeral? cry because his wife died

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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