If anything is possible try to staple water to a tree.

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Roses are red violets are blue ice-cream is yummy can I eat you

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Why was the boy crying? His mother has terminal cancer, and his father does not have the financial stability to cover the cost of the surgery and keep up on house payments and buying clothes and food for the children. He will be living in a foster home in a matter of a week.

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Q. Why can’t a Skeleton Lift Weights? A. He’s all bone & no muscle.

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A bear comes across some people on a camping trip. But he then promptly leaves, because bears aren't inherently aggressive unless caring for their young or if they are provoked.

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How many baby's does it take to paint a wall Depends on how hard you throw them

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scenario: 12 men in bikinis throwing snowballs at each other in Africa. Question: Who ate all the world's giant pears? Answer: It was an allergy to noses!!

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What time is it in China right now? I have no idea, it would depend on when you are reading this. Perhaps you should look at a world clock, watch, or some other sort of time-telling device rather than humorous website. Its purpose is not to tell time. However, there are many other places for this. Good luck surfing the web, friend. I have aided you the best that I can. I only hope that you will find what you are looking for.

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How do you say vampire in spanish? Vampiro.

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the other day i was walking down the street and saw a black man carrying a tv. i thought to myself, "hey that looks like mine!" but then i was like nawwwwwww, mine's at home...... shining my shoes -_-

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Why could the red-haired boy sing higher notes than the blonde-haired boy? He was castrated at birth.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf or bread. why did the plane fall apart in mid air? The engineer was a loaf of bread Why didn't the plane take off? because it was delayed.

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What did Justin beiber get for Christmas? A dildo.

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What part of a vegetable are you not supposed to eat? His wheelchair.

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What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill.

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Why doesn't the fat kid have any friends? Because he is fat.

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Two gorillas swing into a bar and are promptly escorted out because the gorillas are alcoholics.

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Knock-Knock. Who's there? The person knocking at your door.

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What's black and white and red all over? Half a black face and half a white face after going through a blender

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A dog walks into a bar and falls on his butt beacause dogs cant walk.

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What's black and flies? Whatever it is, it's not a car.

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How do you get really high at home? You climb a ladder

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Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana, Jack got high, pulled down his fly, and asked Jill if she wanna. Jill said yes, pulled up her dress, and had a little fun. But stupid Jill forgot the pill, and now they have a son

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What's the difference between zev hatis and a dwarf Nothing. They are both midgets and are going to die by the age of 25

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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