Why did the chicken cross the road? Who let out the chicken?

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what do u tell a woman who has two black eyes? nothing, somebody already told her twice.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Shit on her face

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roses are red violets are puffy i am a donkey i ate some water

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Why did the man steal the little girl? He didn't. She was his daughter and they were driving home after picking up the groceries.

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Why did the soccer player miss practice? He got shot in the face.

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Q:What do you call a wizard who flies? A: A flying wizard.

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So a dolphin is dropped off at a park and dies because he was out of the water to long.

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what do mexicans cross? whatever they want. but in this case their local grocery store parking lot to buy fresh produce.

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Why is Osama bin laden so hard to find? Because he is dead.

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Why couldnt the man find his wallet? He didnt have one

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A mogwai walks into a bar. The bartender says "Sorry, we don't feed mogwais after midnight."

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What did the tree say to the kite? She got hit by a fridge.

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what colour is a frog green you idiot

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A blonde brunette and redhead all jump off a building. Who hit the ground first? The brunette because she jumped first

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Mum: Black or white iPod? Her Son: Black Please, it'll run faster.

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Q: How do all 5 gay guys walk? A: In One Direction

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Did you hear about the monkey in the tree? Oh no wait. It was a lizard.

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Whats worse than getting hit by a bus? Getting hit by two busses.

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There was a blonde, brunette, and a redhead. They are spending a relaxing afternoon together as a result of being restricted to their heavy therapeutic sessions which they are constantly in need of because all three have been diagnosed with clinic depression since everyone jokes about them so much and in conclusion, they don't see each other very often.

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/\ The joke above was really dumb. \/ The joke below is pretty good.

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why cant stevie wonder read? because hes black

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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What is the difference between a goat? It can neither ride a bike.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops