What do you call your mom after she brings a guy home from a bar? A very caring woman because she doesn't want him driving drunk.

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Watch me whip, watch me nae nae

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What do you call burt and ernie if they were black?? A couple of n*ggers

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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What did the girl with no arms get for Christmas? Mittens

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Facebook How i met my mother

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Help! I've fallen and I can't get up.

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Why are the deserts so dry? Obama

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A wise man once told me that friends are like cookies. He was a cannibal.

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wow garlic, yum

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roses are black violets are black your going to die with hate and sorrow

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If your Uncle Jack helped you off an elephant, would you help your Uncle jackoff an elephant? Probably not because it would take more than 3 hands to jack off an elephant P.S. Your Uncle Jack only has 1 hand. Your uncle was on a swing and a clown cut off his hand with an ax

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What did the cow say right before he was slaughtered and later to be sold? Nothing cows dont talk they can create a sound that most people describe as MOO though.

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what's the difference between a jew and a pizza? a jew is a member of a religion called Judaism, they're generally tall and have curly hair, however not in all situations is this true. They celebrate Chanukah and passover and many other holidays. Pizza is an italian dish, it's round, has red sauce and cheese on it and is pretty tasty.

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Q: What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? A: Where's my tractor?

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What did the skeleton say to the man? Nothing.

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why did the chicken cross the road? well he usually takes the bus to his job but he missed it so he had to walk. Unrelated to this, he works at KFC

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Roses are red, Violets are blue; In Soviet Russia, POEM WRITES YOU!

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There was this cat, and he was walking down this long road, knowing a dog lived on 45 lake avenue. So the cat was very careful while walking by that house so the dog and his diqqas wouldnt chase the cat, named pat. So like a rogue in the arathi basen lodge, he made his way over the stone wall and ran as quickly as he could through the muddy path of dirt. This cat was also swagged out of control, so he had mad bitches. That is where Pat was heading....... to his mad bitches. He had never met these bitches, but bought them offline on a p0rn website that said he would become the man if he purchased the mad hot bitches. When he found the bitches, he shit himself. The bitches were female dogz. if you read this whole paragraph, a fraction of your soul has been ripped out of you. UMAD? ˜´??

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Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, I Love Chocolate, More Than I Love You

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what do you call Tim Tebow on a bike with a clown hat on? Tim, Mr. Tebow whatever you want

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What's the difference between a black man and a Jew? The sandwich is hidden under the couch, and is non-migratory.

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What did the barber say to Chewbacca? DAAAAAAYYYYUUUUMMMM!!!

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting attacked by an evil demonic llama.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops