What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fish, just because it has a disability it doesn't mean you can treat it any differently

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Patrick, I just thought of something funnier than 24. Lemme hear it. 25.

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A penguin walks into a bakery. The baker asks the penguin: What kind of bread would you like, brown or white? Penguins answers: Well, it doesn't really matter since I drove here.

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What do you get when you cross a rooster with a cocker spaniel? Nothing, because roosters and Dog's don't mix.

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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What did the blonde say to the priest? Probably something stupid due to the fact that she's blonde.

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I walked into a bar the other day and ordered a double. The bartender brought out a guy who looked just like me.

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What you reading? reading?

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How many electricians does it take to fix a light bulb? One

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dylan wishes life was like cod. that way he would actually be able to do something cool

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why was the boy's face burnt? a horrible accident involving a lighter and some hairspray

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What did the gay black man say after JFK was shot? Wow thats really sad but I have such an appetite right now so i should probably go to eat.

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Rick Perry.

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Penis.

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A blonde and a brunette jump off a building, who hits the ground first? The one that jumped first

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Why did timmy fall off his bike? Someone threw a fridge at hm

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Why did the black man shoot someone? His wife recently left him and he got fired from his job.

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Refrigerator

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Where is Osama now? Telling this joke.

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i hate anti-jokes ;)

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What do you call two black men kicking a ball? Soccer.

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what do you say to a woman on her rags? nothing.try and ignore it.you didn't hear this from me and we never talked.

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What's te best part about having sex with twenty two year olds? There are 20 of them ;)

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What is white and tastes like cotton candy? Jizz

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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