o | ,'~'. / \ | ____|_ | '___,,_' .----------------. | ||(o |o)| ( KILL ALL HUMANS! ) | ------- ,----------------' | _____| -' \ '####, ------- /________\ ( ) |) '_ ' ,------|\ _ /_ / | |_\ || /_ /| | o| _\ _|| /_ / | | |\ _\____//' | ( ( | | | (_,_,_,____/ \ _\ | ------| \ _\|_________| \ _\ \__\\__\ |__| |__||__| ||/__/ |__||__| |__||__| |__||__| /__)/__) /__//__/ /__//__/ /__//__/. .' '. '. (_kOs____)____)

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Why did Sally fall off the swings? She has no arms. Knock knock Whose there? Not Sally, she has no arms

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did the slave say to its master? Nothing meanwhile he and his family had terminal cancer and were worked without pay for 20 years before dying fro, multiple cases of AIDS and infections within thier lungs and mouths.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

why did the one armed, bearded man, in a wheelchair go to the mall ? He wished to purchase yogurt and Tiger woods 2007 for the ps2

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Cancer victim: What kind of doctor are you? Person 2: I'm not a doctor. In fact, I'm a suicide bomber and am planning to initiate the detonation sequence right now. Cancer victim: Well, it doesn't really matter. No matter who shows up, I'll still die anyways. This way, I'll be able to pay a visit to the transcendent city high in the heavens sooner. Person 2: I bet that many would mourn your death at your remembrance ceremony. Cancer victim: That doesn't bother me. My friends and family are close to my heart, but that doesn't warrant eternal proximity with one another in itself. Person 2: Let's go to a better place. Let us finally break free of our mortal chains that have unceasingly been hindering our progress since the first war took place. Cancer victim: Wait, I've changed my mind! Person 2: Too late. I wish I had a time machine... not.

thumb_up thumb_down

If John has 50 candy bars and eats 45, what does he have? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

How come Kristin cant go play soccer anymore? She broke her leg kicking her brother in the face.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

whyd the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side :)

thumb_up thumb_down -11

How do you scare off a ghost? Tell him your ready for a commitment.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

An epileptic man attends a rave.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the skeleton cross the road? Because Apocalypse arrived and dead people now have the ability to walk.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

why did dinosaurs get extinct? i don't know i was not there to see it!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Why did Suzie fall of the swing???? she had down syndrome

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why couldn't the Chinese women see... It's because she just got into a terrible car accident and suffered a rental detachment in both eyes. Follow up question, why was the Chinese women even allowed to drive?

thumb_up thumb_down +12

i have to pee out my ass.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Here is the worst joke ever. ..... Dislike this and you are awesome!! P.S. I'm serious. I want to make a joke with the MOST DISLIKES ever! Don't think this is reverse psychology. I don't do that shi*t.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What happens when you throw a red rock into a blue ocean. The rock gets wet.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How do you get a n***r out of a tree? Cut the rope

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? It didn't; by the time Keller owned her first dog, she was an adult with exceptional communicative abilities for one with her condition. She frequently wrote about her beloved dogs and is even credited with introducing the Akita breed to the United States. If her dog had run away, it would be unlikely that she would have been allowed further dogs.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Every 60 seconds in Africa, a Minute passes.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Who didn't allow the gorilla into the ballet studio? Whoever was in charge.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

You know what's never heard of? Father's Day in Camden.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Q.How many dinosaur species can jump as high as a house? A.All of them, houses can't jump

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What color is the orange? Grey, I'm color blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops