Why was the little boy crying? His whole family died.

Hey Jake can I use your lawnmower? Why Michael, so you can run over my cat like you did last night

One day, a Hippo was riding a scooter and an ant was sitting on the back seat. Suddenly they meet with an accident. They both fall from the scooter on their heads but only the hippo gets hurt. How??? Because the ant was wearing a helmet.

What's the difference between katchup and musterd A very long list of things that I don't want to read

YOU

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you touch yourself at night.

Roses are red Violets are blue Violets are actually purple or white

your momma's so ugly that she currently deals with an overwhelmingly self consciousness view of her appearance to the point where she has contemplated suicide and it is in your best interest to seek her medical help in order to preserve her heath and overall well being.

What did the caterpillar say to the robot? Nothing. Caterpillars do not have vocal chords and there are not, as yet, any truly portable robots capable of comprehending speech so to speak to one would be pointless.

What do you call the fear of anteaters? Stupid.

knock knock knocking on heavens douoor

3 Chinese brothers (chu, bu, and fu) come to America and want to change there names. Chu becomes Chuck, Bu becomes Buck, and Fu becomes Tom because obscenities do not make acceptable names.

Roses are red, Violets are blue. I hate you so suck on poo.

What's the difference between Jews and pizza? God likes pizza

What did the cabbage say to the cabbage? I dont know ask the leafy guy.... >_

What did the rabbit buy the Jewish duck for Hanukkah? Nothing, animals don't celebrate holidays.

Your mom is so fat...

Roses are red Violets are blue Grass is green Skies are blue

What did the dead Catholic say to Atheist? Nothing. Dead guys can't talk!

Q: What is that white stuff in chicken shit? A: Thats chicken shit too

Three nuns walk into a bar. They realize they are in a place they don't want to be, so they leave, casting furtive glances around, fearing that someone from their congregation will see them and think they went in to drink.

Eating chicken off a baby's ass

Why did the black guy cross the road? i have no idea but i hope he got to the other side safely.

What's the difference between 15 dead babies and a cadilac? I don't have a cadilac.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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