What really puts a kick into both my life and the lives of others around me? My leg(s) of which recieves messages from a sophisticated bundle of "wires" in my cranium that enables it to act at all.

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Mrs. Welsh

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Why did the chicken cross the road? "THE chicken" indicates a definite article, you really would have to specify which chicken you're talking about so i can identify whether i was there at the given moment that the chicken tried to cross the road and to ask it his reason for attempting it.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because Acl tear stepped on a spit.

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Q: What do you call a ginger with no soul? A: Common

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What did Rihanna remember when she corrected Chris Browns tweets she can't remember last thing she saw was a fist

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feminists.

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A doctor, a farmer, and a blonde walk into a bar. The doctor orders red wine because he knows it's good for the heart. The farmer orders a Piña Colada because he likes fruit. The two men wait eagerly to what the blonde is about to order. The blonde opens her purse and says "Damn it, I can't find my credit card." Suddenly, a handsome young gentleman walks up to her says "Don't worry miss, I'll buy a drink for you. What are you having?" The blonde looks up and says "Don't worry? I just lost my credit card!" In a fit a of anger, the blonde storms out the bar and doesn't order anything.

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What did the German say the the Jewish man? "Hello, nice to meet you."

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In an apartment complex, a black family lived on the first floor, a mexican family lived on the second floor, and a white family lived on the third floor. Suddenly, at about noon on tuseday, a giant tornado came through town and took out the entire complex, destroying everything. Why did only the white familey survive the catastophy? Because both parents were at work and the kids were in school.

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What's weirder than an asian? His dinner

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Q: What's the difference between Catholism and Judiasm? A: There are many substantial and vital distinctions between Judaism and Christianity. Of course, there are many similarities as well, primarily because Christianity emerged from Judaism. However, the emergence was not a direct line. Christianity broke from Judaism, forming a new religion, so it is misleading, however comfortable the thought might be, to believe that the two religions are essentially the same, or to see Christianity as the natural continuation of Judaism.

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what do you call cheese that isn't yours? Chuck Norris' Cheese

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I drink poodle juice for breakfast lunch and dinner I was then turned into a tree

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Why did Jimmy fall of a building without a paracute? Because he lost a bet.

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roses are red violets are blue pornhubs down your mums facebook will do.

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Why did the lady have a birthmark on her leg? Because she came out of her mother's leg.

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What has three legs and bleeds? A cat with a cut off leg.

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Roses are red Violets are Blue Little Timmy died yesterday

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There was a man with a job and kids. One day he came home from his job and went to sleep. He never woke up because it turns out he had a heart attack.

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One of them I like to eat, and the other one is a watermelon.

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A Brick

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Q: Whats metal and shiny? A: You're lame childhood accomplishments.

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A man walks up to a girl and says "Hello there" The girl doesn't respond because she has been deaf and blind for her entire life and doesn't know he is there. Potatoes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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