Why did the Jew lock the chest? Because that's where he was hiding the body.

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You're a big fat monkey.

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What does a handsome guy and an ugly girl have in common? Nothing

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What do you call a Mexican flying a plane from Mexico City to Los Angeles? A pilot you racist.

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what do you call an evening with richard? a waste of time

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two peanuts walked into a bar they both sat down and immediately left once they found out the bar was serving peanuts.

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How does Bob Marley like his donuts? He doesn't, he tragically died of melanoma in 1981.

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What's worse than a guy staring at you? Two guys staring at you.

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Why are Americans so fat? Poor diet and lack of exercise.

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in 2001 a man was working happily in his office cubicle and got an email from his boss saying that he had great news for him. filled with excitment he knew he was getting A big promotion and could finally afford that new toy his kid has always wanted. Feeling great the man walks up to the office window to enjoy the view he notices a very large commercial airliner flying straight towards his office.

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Why did Bill yell? Because he stepped on a nail.

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A Man walks into a bar, he sits down on a stool and begins to cry. Why are you crying, asks the Bartender. I just lost my job, my wife left me and I had my car reposesed. Ok says the Bartender, I know what'll cheer you up, he promptly pulls out a 12 inch piano and begins to play. The Man at the Bar says, hey thats awesome where did you get it? The Bartender says, a really old Genie gave it to me. You know what, I like you so I am going to let you have my last wish. Really? Asks the man, Ok thanks, I wish for a million bucks said the man at the bar. There was a Loud voice saying "Your Wish has been granted" then the room was full of ducks. Hey! Exclaimed the man, I didn't wish for a million ducks, I wished for a million bucks! Yeah, said the bartender, and I wished for a 12 inch penis...

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whats red and hard to eat a brick.

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How do you confuse a blond? Paint yourself green and throw forks at her.

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How many eskimos does it take to build an igloo? It depends... probably about six or seven.

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friends are like snowflakes. if you piss on them they go away

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a. get me a drink b. a would but but i got no arms

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Your mum so fat, she died of a heart attack

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What is an anti joke? It's jokes about jews, blacks, and walking out of bars LIKE AN IRISHMAN

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Whats better than 24? 25.

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What do you call a dog with 4 legs? A dog.

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Roses are red,I love the walking dead,but if they kill off Darrell ill watch glee instead

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Why is a black man fat? Because he eats a lot.

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Knock Knock, Who's there? The Police. *No Answer* The police then give the S.W.A.T the signal, bust down the door, and kill 15 high profile targets issued by Liberia. The man who did not answer the door was Carlos Pedrouez, a serial killer, meth addict who has been apart of the Arizona sex slave trade for over a decade. The world can now sleep softly. The door was also red.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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