Kindness is like peeing in your pants, Everyone can see the results, but only You can feel the warmth

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-Hey I know something funnier than 24, ---What? -25! Hey I know something funnier than 25. ---What? -The Holocaust!

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How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck Norris? well no one knows for certain, but they do know there's alot of fridges involved

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You just glass her.

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Hi Adam,

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Do you know what they say? Words

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Jack and Jill went up the hill to get some exercise. They were getting terribly overweight.

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Q: What is the likely outcome of anyone who watches 'WWE'? A: They will lose their virginity to a hooker.

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You have cancer

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If an orange is orange then why isn't a banana called a yellow? Because the word 'banana' comes from the Arabic word for finger as it obviously resembles a finger. The person that named the orange was equally lazy, but just not Arabic.

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What did the pony say when it lost its voice? Nothing. Ponies are incapable of speech.

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Its a sunny day. There's a tree and a bird. What did they say to each other? --------------------------------------------------- Nothing they can't talk.

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So a white president,a mexican president, and a black president,are on a plane and its going down. The white president wishes he was a dove, and he flies away to safety. Then the mexican president wishes he was an eagle and he flies away to safety. Then the black president falls out the plane and says o s**t and turns into poop.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What do you call an anorexic with a yeast infection? Whatever their name is.

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An amputee walks into a bar with a big smile on his face and sits down. The bartender looks over at him and asks "So why are you so happy?" The amputee doesn't answer because he has been completely deaf, blind and mute since birth.

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MC donald the duck loves Justin's Balls. And Daniel Ma loves fried chicken boiled with rice \Cupcake

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Where do black people ride bicycles? In the Pedestrian Zone.

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What's the difference between a Jew and an apple? One of them is a fruit, and the other is not.

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Whats worse than the holocaust A.MRS FRANK B.HITLER ANSWER MRS FRANK

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How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop? ...hey, it's kinda fun to type tootsie... ...tootsie tootsie tootsie...

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What the small boy with no arms or legs get fro christmas???? cancer

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How many bears does it take to screw in a light bulb? None; it’s a fairly menial task requiring little more than a single human hand. Requisitioning any number of bears for the effort would be an extremely dangerous “Rube Goldberg”-esque solution to simple problem.

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What did the man say to his father? You are not my mom.....

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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