A duck walks into a 7-11 and says "Give me some Chap-stick, and put it on my bill!" But the cash register attendee doesn't speak English and cannot understand him. He does, however, question whether his God is punishing him because, as all people know, ducks cannot speak. However, this hallucination must be punishment for a horrid misdeed. The employee breaks down into tears and begins reciting a prayer. The duck, slightly miffed, walks out, pondering why he'd need Chap-stick anyway, since he has no lips.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why is this anti-joke here? Because someone submitted it to this website.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

what do u get when two cars collide... a bunch of mexican

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's black and white and red all over? A nun that was stabbed to death.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

-Whats worse than a joke with no punch line? -What?...

thumb_up thumb_down +18

what did the black guy say to his friend who was on acid? man you trippin.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the Asian man open up a Sushi restaurant? Because he had a fetish for cumming in sushi and giving it to strangers.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

I AM FAGNETO! MASTER OF FAGNET! WELCOME TO FÅG! DIE X-FÅGGOT! XD Okay Fagneto`s roll me out of here, I am done with the super important last message to uh... You? No wait that sounds wrong, stop laughing you korean piece of... Seriously sorry I am drugged, you guys put enough valium in me to kill a cow, so please roll me out... I used to have a lot of korean friend you know, but then I killed them for being korea... seriously my fingers magically type shit when I am done, please roll me out of here, and fill that... Kundalini express? Is it me or did this get even more fagneto... Get me out of here now now now no

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A guy walks into a bar. He order three drinks and hands them to the lady behind him. It's because she is an alcoholic.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

So there is a blind man... and he walks past a fish market and takes a deep breath and says"Oh boy it sure does smell like fish out here".

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What do you call a black man in the south? An example of diverse America

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the man have a bad day? Well first of all, his wife left him, then his two kids both committed suicide, then a large falcon pecked at him genital area. After that he proceeded to be hit by a car, and soon after he was hit by a bus. Following this, his corpse was raped by a transvestite pig, and then finally his spirit got hit by a plane on its way up to heaven.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Can I have a dollar? I don't know, can you?

thumb_up thumb_down -9

where did little Suzie go after the bomb went off? Everywhere.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What do you call a black guy that flies a plane? A pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Roses are red,Lemons are sour,Open your legs and give me an hour.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What do you have if you have a green ball in your right hand and a green ball in your left hand? Two green balls.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What did hitler say when he spilt coffee all over himself Ow I am burnt

thumb_up thumb_down

What do you get when you put a baby in a blender? A life sentence

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why was the little girl crying? Her parents got divorced yesterday.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Q: what's black and white and red all over? A: someone getting murderd on a news paper

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the man have a hard time trying to open the door? The door was locked

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Whats similar between a grape and a duck? They're both purple. except not the duck.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops