A lady in a bank was asked by the clerk to round the sum she wanted to raise from her account. She rounded it several times, but the clerk continued to insist that the sum needs to be rounded. She left the bank confused, with a coupon consisting of completely rounded sum of 691, 88$. Next day she returned with a coupon with a rounded sum of 690,88$. The clerk asked again the lady to round the sum. The lady started helplessly to cry and said she had rounded is already with a harp, and couldn't make it round anymore, she even removed the sharp 1 from the sum.

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Q: How do you stop a hijacked plane? A: The plane can't be hijacked because the pilots cabin is not accessable until the plane lands.

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Pretty vague, if I did not know you, Id conclude you where working for some mob syndicate or something.

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What did Michael Jackson say to the little boy? Nothing. He's been dead for over three years.

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Why did the man cross the road? His mother had recently passed away after a 12 year battle with lung cancer and is visiting her tombstone.

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Why isnt there a womens NASCAR? Because NASCAR does not yet have the funding to start a women's league.

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Did you hear about the new German oven? Seats 40.

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Knock knock --Come in.

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A woman is walking down the street. A midget approaches her and with his keen sense of smell, informs the tall woman of her delicious scent and says, "Ma'am your hair smells lovely, may I please take a closer sniff?" Then woman obliges and the midget is arrested for alleged rape, or as he put it, trying to sniff her vagina.

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How many fingers am i holding up? 4

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"Hey look, mommy! I'm a whale!" (child proceeds to pull a shotgun and create a blowhole in his head)

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Knock Knock Who's there? The Holocast ...

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Do you want to hear a bad joke? A bad joke

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How does the black, high school kid get his new clothes, IPod and nikes? By working at his family-owned convenient store with his father and grandfather every night after school, but not until his homework is done.

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Knock knock, who's there? Your mom! Oh I'm comming.

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why was little johns' stomach in discomfort? because his mom accidently gave him mercury for breakfast

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What's funnier then 24... The Holocost

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue I have ADD Check out this flashlight!

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What do skeet disks and Jewish babies have in common? Hitler used to shoot them out of the sky.

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what do you call a guy that looks exactly like Mario. Frank because thats his name.

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What's worse than getting a fly stuck up your nose? Been alone in a hospital room with Jimmy Saville.

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What do Tom Cruise and Santa Claus have in common? They're both Tom Cruise.

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What did the Germans cook in their giant oven made for cooking jews? Jews.

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What sound did the man make? Splatt. He fell off a building.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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