What's small, cold, and lifeless? A dead baby.

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why is cancer a big thing because its bad

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What's the square root of 69? 8.3

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Why was the black man afraid of the chainsaw? Because its a potentially dangerous weapon

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there are 2 sausages in a pan. one sausage says "wow it's hot in here" and the other sausage says "MY GOD A TALKING SAUSAGE!!!!"

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? She didn't.

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How do mummies keep there secrets wrapped up? They are dead.

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Have you seen Steve Wonder's house? No. It's okay, neither has he.

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Why was the man sad? His brother died.

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Why are you going to thumbs this joke up? Because I use the words "Chuck Norris" Thus making it impossible to not thumbs up.

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A blonde walks into an electronic store...she buys an IPhone because someone stole her blackberry, her money, and everything she cares for. Nah, I'm just kiddin', she was murdered.

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what did god say when we made his first black person oops i acidenlty burnt it

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What did the homeless guy do when he found a quarter? He picked it up

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He was a good, New England family man

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A black man walks in to a 7 Eleven with a gun in his left pocket. He innocently walks over to the place where they keep all the hostess treats, and decides to purchase a pack of crumb donuts. The gun was purely for self defense, it was a bad neighborhood.

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What's the best thing about the Pixies? Their music.

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how bout that airplane foood!!!1

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There's this Priest, a Rabbi and a Preacher talking about how similar they are.

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One dark, stormy night, there was a man, limping slowly down the road. He looked across the road and noticed a little girl on a park bench. He carefully moved around behind , creeped up, and slowly tapped her on the shoulder. I tap 2 tap 3 tap The little girl slowly turned her head, and as she did, the man uttered 3 sentences.... "Would you mind helping me get back to my apartment, my hand was cut off in the war, while I was serving my country, which is why I have a hook as opposed to a hand. I was heading back to my apartment to greet my wife and 2 little children, since I just got back from a long day's work at the soup kitchen, helping those in need, and I sprained my ankle. By the way, my name I John Thompson."

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Two elephants are walking down the street. They have already killed 12 people including 11 children and their foster parent.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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a horse walks into a bar. the bartender says "why the long face?". the horse answers..."i'm a horse"

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Knock Know Who's there Interrupting ghost Interu--BOO!!! Ha HA!

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What did the mexican say to the other mexican? Lets go get some tacos.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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