Last Christmas I gave you my heart. I am still waiting for a transplant.....

thumb_up thumb_down -15

How do you tell if a kitten is alive? Throw it at the wall.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Knock Knock Who's there? A bag of burning crap.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Your mom is so old, that she should probably up her B-12 intake to avoid sickness.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did the mouse say to the elephant? Squeak.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Ask me if I'm a Banana Are you a Banana? Yes Oh, I couldn't tell in this lighting

thumb_up thumb_down +34

You are joking right?

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What do you call a man with no arms, no legs, and only one eye? Dave.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

I AM SO FAT I WANT TO EAT MORE FOOD. I NEED A DOCTOR BECAUSE IM GOING TO END UP LIKE YOUR MOM!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Whats black, and chrispy inside...? A black guy with bonecancer

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Butterfly is standing on a flower. Cow comes and steps on that flower

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A woman leaves the kitchen.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did the cat say when it jumped into the cardboard box? Meow

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Why did the man have a bad day? Well first of all, his wife left him, then his two kids both committed suicide, then a large falcon pecked at his genital area. After that he proceeded to be hit by a car, and soon after he was hit by a bus. Following this, his corpse was raped by a transvestite pig, and then finally his spirit got hit by a plane on its way up to heaven, knocking it to Hell.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

why was osama bin laden shot and killed? because he was a very violent man and deserved his punishment

thumb_up thumb_down -23

A man told this joke once... it wasn't funny.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What do you call a black guy who gives out change? A cashier.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A duck walked up to the lemonade stand and he said the the man running the stand hey ba ba ba got any grapes? the man said no but i got some shut the F*CK up!

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What is sad about four lawyers in a car driving of a cliff? The car fit six people.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why couldn't the black man participate in the running category of the Olympics? Because he had no legs, he was referred to the Special Olympics, instead.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

A man goes to Church he meets God nothing happens

thumb_up thumb_down +3

If life gives you lemons, you shoud be thankful it didn't give you AIDS.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the monkey die? he was stapled to a grenade

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops