knock, knock who's there owls owls who thats right owls who

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"Tell me a joke" Tom says Your life.

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Why did the woman have sex with the man? Because she is over 18, which is above all of the legal consent ages in the United States.

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Jimmy was skipping in the park one day when a young boy stopped him. "Hello there, would you like to be friends? We can go behind the old oak tree and play soccer!" asked the boy. "Ok!" replied Jimmy, and they went off together to play. The so-called 'young boy' was actually a wanted midget rapist. Jimmy was brutally raped and filmed. The film was later uploaded onto the internet where it blew up in a matter of weeks. Jimmy had to move schools 6 times and had to go to counselling every week. He finds it hard making friends and later went on to become a heavy cocaine addict.

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You just threw a fireman and a baby out of a skyscraper... who arrived earth first? Adam and Eve. Moral: Because theology is bullshit.

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Why do bees fly? Because evolution made them

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Your mums so stupid. She bought an apple for 35p even though the shop across the road sells them for 34p

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Martin Skrtel walks into a bar The bar breaks, Martin then pays for any damages caused

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How do you fit 90 Jews in a Volkswagen Bug? You can't.

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Yo mamma is so fat, when Dracula bit her, he got type 2 diabetes.

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Four blondes are driving to Disneyland, as they finally got to Florida, they read a sign that said "Disneyland: left" so they turned around and headed home.

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What do you call a man who eats a swordfish at 11 o'clock? Dead by midnight.

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Why was young Timmy Crying? Unfortunately he had a very rare but serious heart condition and he would probably die within a week.

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What's green and red and goes a hundred miles an hour? A frog in a blender.

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What do you get when you cross your eyes? A headache.

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Q:whats yellow and flys through walls A:A magical Banana

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what's round, hairy, has eight legs- but isn't a spider? A spider.

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What do you call a moose with a 12 gauge shotgun bullet through it's head? Open Season

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Good boy

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Q. How are a bird and a turtle alike? A. They both fly. Except the turtle.

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Why did Suzie fall of the swing? Because Suzie was a cucumber.

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Your mom is so fat she beat up snorlax from pokémon, than got charged for abbuse because it is illegal to use physical violence on pokémon unless in a battle or in attempt to capture one.

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A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so i can text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

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The homeless man first experience warmth....in Hell

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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