whats older than your mom? a tortoise that has been living more than a couple hundred years

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why did the chicken cross the road it didn't it got hit y a car

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Why was the man with one leg good at balancing on one foot? He used crutches.

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A guy says to a palm reader "You look like you've seen a ghost. Palm reader replies "You've got cum on your hand."

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So i know this guy... yes? thats it.

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How do you kill a black guy With a gun

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A Texan, a Mexican, a Brit and a Frenchman are on a plane that begins having engine trouble. The black box was never found.

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What do you call a shark on land A dead shark

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Why is Skrillex bad at fishing? Because he always increases the treble input in his songs, and he doesnt have a rod.

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Friends are like trees, if you deprive them from water they'll die.

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Knock knock Who's there? John Oh hello John come on in mate.

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What's the difference between a bag full of dead babies and a ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage

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What's green, has four legs and falls from trees? A praying mantis that lost a battle and had it's frongt two legs removed causing it to lose balance and gripand plumet groundward from the tree.

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Q: A blonde walks into a bar. What does she get? A: An icepack.

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Why are Asians so good at mathematics? Practice.

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chuck norris won the world series of poker using his superior knowledge of counting cards and calculating probability.

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What did the dog say to the human? Nothing really. Dogs technically "speak" through barking.

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When someone calls me ugly, I run up and hug them, because I know how tough life is for the visually impaired.

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What happened to the blond that went to collage? She got her masters degree and became a brain surgeon.

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how doyou wake up lady gaga youu poke er face

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How many cows does it take to swim on land? 4.2

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What happened to the black guy who got pulled over by the cops? He was told that his left tail light was out

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Why did the boy jump of the cliff? He was following the others

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What's purple, green, and orange? Dead baby with slashed floaties. What's black, purple, and orange? Same baby two weeks later.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops