What's got eight legs and one eye? Two chairs and half a pigs head.

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Question: Whats worse then getting hit by a bus? Answer: Getting hit by a train.

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What starts with P and ends with "oop" POOP

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Q: When did the man realize it was 5:00am? A: When it became 5:00am.

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What happens when an antijoke and a joke comes together? Unicorns mate with Neil Patrick Harris

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How did the girl get rid of a fever? She took medicine.

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Why couldn't Jimmy have his birthday party at the park? Because little Jimmy passed away several months ago from the result of a vicious genocide committed by a man who didn't properly understand the affect that maiming human beings has on the friends and family members of the person; he was sentenced to jail for a fair and reasonable time for the punishment of the crime he committed in the past.

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whats better then a pile of dead babies? 2 piles of dead babies

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Two fish walked into a bar. They died. Because fish can't breathe out of water.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Your dog pooped on my lawn Now my violets are even more blue

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what's white and goes up? a retarded snowflake

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders house? yea, neither has he.

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whats it called when a pimp slaps a ho? RESPECT

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There's 3 guys, a fat guy, a skinny guy, and muscular guy. 7 days later, the fat guy receives an invitation to the zoo. It turns he got a new job and his friends was so proud.

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Two hunters walk in to the forest. They have a great time ending the lives of defenceless creatures. They go to their respective homes, eat a light dinner, and fall asleep in their beds.

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Once there was a frog. My parents died.

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why did the girl go into the kitcen? she was preparing a meal for her well safisticated family which had not ate dinner yet that day.

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What happened to your hamster? It died.

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So a guy walks into a bar. Ouch. It was a gay bar.

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This couple is having the most passionate sex ever one night, and the guy cums before he gets a chance to pull out. He gets the woman pregnant. Now they are married.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue Walt dies in breaking bad.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit on the way there.

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Sarah Jessica Parker

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Whats funnier than 2 dead babies? Seinfeld, and I hate Seinfeld.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops