When life gives you lemons, make beef stew.

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Your mother is so average in weight and in attractiveness.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimers, Cheese in toast,

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My Grandma has Alzheimers and always repeats what she says. My Grandma has Alzheimers and always repeats what she says. (Submitted by Aidan)

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Why did the jew save his money? Because his wife has cancer and the radiation treatments are very expensive.

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Why did Brooke go to the bathroom? She had to pee

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How did the black man get put in jail? He didn't, he never did anything illegal

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Q: What's the similarity between puzzles and women? A: Prior to the 1920's neither had the right to vote.

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poop nuff said

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Ding Dong! Who's the - - - wait - - - I don't have a doorbell.

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Why didn't the black man go to work? He had to attend his sister's funeral, who just recently passed away after her long hard battle with breast cancer.

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If rocks were people, what would you call a bunch of marble rolling down a hill? Rocks don't have the ability to be people.

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Why didn't suzie eat? Because she wasn't hungry

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What is black, white and hungry? A woman with a rare skin disorder known as Vitiligo which causes discolourtion of the skins pigment in patches; who is hungry.

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If you work at Penn State you might want to skip the annual "bring your kid to work day"

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What do you call a female duck? A duck.

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what did one mental hospital worker say to the other? Billy your not a mental hospital worker, give heather back her clothes so I can escort you back to your cell.

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a man ran into a bar screaming. he now has a severe coma

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A guy orders soup at the resturant and says to the waiter, "will you try this soup?" The waiter says "what is it too hot?" the guy says "just try the soup." the waiter asks "Is it too cold?" the guy sais just try the soup." the waiter says "fine, where's the spoon?" AHAHHH!!!

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Your momma's so not fat that when a school bus rolled by here house, she just sat there and turned on oprah.

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What is the difference between a watermelon and a baby? One you can smash with a hammer and the other is just a watermelon.

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A man walks into a bar. He asks for a beer. One of the bar tenders twlls him they are all out. He takes out his gun. He has 1 bullet and there are 3 bar tenders. He wants to kill them all. What does he do? A: Shoots 1 and pegs bricks at the other two.

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What do you call a black pope? Catholic.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga in the morning You poke her face

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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