Q. How do you wake up a sleeping rich man? A. By splashing acid in his face

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There was this women at a banana festival, but she didn't like bananas. So she split

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How do you make a plumber cry Kill his family

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I bought my daughter the Josef Fritzl advent calendar. The proceeds go towards abuse survivor charities.

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where would you hide 100 dead jews in a car the ashtray because they were all cremated

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Dislike if you are a prostitute

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why is lady gaga so famous? because she has a penis.

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Boy 1: Hey do you want my last chewing gum? Boy 2: Yeah please! Boy 1: Same. The boy continues to eat the chewing gum and finishes his shit wandering why the boy walked into the same cubicle as him.

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An English man, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They each buy a pint and talk about their day.

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Robin Williams walks into a bar. The bartender says why the long face? To which Robin Williams replies, "Because I'm going to kill myself."

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How do you fix America's national security issues? Nuke russia

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How do you kill a blonde? Pull the pin and throw it back...then proceed to paint yourself green and throw forks at her.

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Whats worse then world war 3 world war 4

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Have you seen Andrea Bocelli's new house? No. He hasn't either.

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XD A COZY FIGHT XD WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT? I am gonna kick your ass, break your face and then give you a kiss on the cheek as your mangled corpse bleeds out... XD :)) THANKS FOR THE LAUGHTER XD XD Reminds me of a former comment where you describe the local weather, you know, we do not live that far away from each other, hell it was actually the time, we are completely in the same timezone, so anyway, do you also get cartoon network on your television?

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What has legs but may never walk? A Vietam Vet

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what did the cow say to shabab?....... want some milk

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A blind man walks into a bar. Another man asks him if hes ever seen the new movie that came out. he then replies, "i heard it" then curled up into a ball and cries for several hours.

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what starts with f and ends with c k....???? FIRETRUCK

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Why wouldnt you want to hit a black man that is on a bike with your car? It mite be your bike

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One day a terribly epileptic child is put on on a strict Atkins diet by his loving mother. A week later he finds that the frequency and intensity of his seizures have been reduced by its ketogenic effects, which provides exogenous fats for the body to burn, but limits the available carbohydrate so that ketone bodies build up. It is the high level of these ketones which appear to suppress seizures.

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whats worse than stubbing your toe? getting a vanarial disease and going insane

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Stephen Hawking can walk

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It is so hot out here, that it could melt an ice cube that was once in the freezer!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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