Why did the chicken cross the road? Nobody knows, he was hit by a car.

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Apparently I'm an unfit father, cuz all I know is dope and all I got is 30 dollas

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How do you give a women more freedom? Shoot her in the face with a shotgun.

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When is the best time to eat? When you feel like it.

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Call of Duty is Awesome So is fingering a dead lion with an iron dildo

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Two people are walking down the street, unaware of the highly polluted environment and that they could save a life.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Becuase as a chicken its intulect this very low so walking in the middle of the street was it's 1st instest. Ther'for it crossed the road and made it to the other side safe. Now please don't ask me a stupid question like that again.

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What do you call a black guy selling drugs? A pharmicist.

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What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? A jew is a person contending to the faith of Judaism, and a pizza is an Italian flat normally round or square baked good consisting of dough, tomato sauce, cheese and various spices, and is sometimes enjoyed with toppings such as meat or vegetables.

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Two drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff. They all fall on a small boy below, putting him into a 20-year coma.

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the monkey

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what did the shark do when he died.....

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a terrorist walks into a bank and says "gimme all the money or ill kill you" the bank owner said you and what army the terrorist said this army and no one came in buuuut he opened hi jacket and there was a bomb straped to him then he exploded it Buuuuuuut in hell he thinks hang on a minute i didn't get my money oh for goodness sake Buuuuuuuuuuut in heaven the bank man said i still live in a wonderfull place and anywhay we had no money left and i was going to suiside soooooooooooooooooooooooo you done me a favour and if i would of suiside i could of gone to hell but you killed me so i edidnt go to hell buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuut you did lol by the way i just wasted your time

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Waseem is sad because all his jokes are not funny!

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What do you call a guy with newmonya? Not good at spelling

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I was playing Black Ops online, my wife turned it off in the middle of the game....I killed her

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I have a black man in my family tree... He's still hanging there.

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I hate blackniggers

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What did Helen Keller say when she got raped? Stop raping me.

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Roses are red pineapple is yellow I'll shove your head up my ass so you can eat some marshmallows!

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How do you get a black man out of a tree? Politely ask him to come down

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What happens when you yell at people who have high blood pressure? They might get heart attacks & die.

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Priest: "Matt, will you take Senae to be your wife, your partner in life and your one true love? Will you cherish her friendship and love her today, tomorrow and forever? Will you trust and honor her, laugh with her and cry with her? Will you be faithful through good times and bad, in sickness and in health as long as you both shall live?" Matt: No

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Why was the human stronger than the dog? Because the dog had four legs and a mouth and a human has 2 legs, 2 arms, and is taller. Therefore, the human has more capabilites than the dog.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops