2 guys walk into a bar. You'd hink one of them should have seen it. After all, it is a large building.

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123 Main street

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What did the woman do when her husband told her to make him a sandwich? She made him a sandwich promptly.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf."

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Knock knock. Who's there? John John who John

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ive got 99 problems and my diabetes is one of them

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Justin Bieber saying "shawty"

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How do you make Lady Gaga cry? You set her on fire.

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In Soviet Russia its very cold

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What is the same about a girrafe, and an ant? They are both REALLY tall. Except for the ant, sorry I lied.

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Q: So why does an Asian guy look at these two black guys and a white woman in the middle? A: Because he wants an oreo cookie.

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What's worse than throwing 8 babies off a cliff? Throwing 1 baby off a cliff.

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The funniest tragedy in his young life...wasn't funny.

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3 out of 5 smokers die And apparently the other 2 become immortal

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What do you call Chuck Norris when there is a bullet inside of him? Dead.

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Q: What's the Difference between Judaism and Catholicism? A: There are many substantial and vital distinctions between Judaism and Christianity. Of course, there are many similarities as well, primarily because Christianity emerged from Judaism. However, the emergence was not a direct line. Christianity broke from Judaism, forming a new religion, so it is misleading, however comfortable the thought might be, to believe that the two religions are essentially the same, or to see Christianity as the natural continuation of Judaism.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Faces like yours being in a zoo But don't worry I'll be there too Behind the bars, laughing at you

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A grasshopper walks into into a bar and the bartender says, "We have a drink named after you. But me telling you this is in no way productive because insects cannot understand human language."

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What was the beauty pageant contestant with a bladder control problem told by the judges? You’re an 8.

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Two guys walk into a bar, the third one ducks.

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What did the college kids drink at the party? Soda. Alcohol is illegal for people under the age of 21 to consume.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road A: Nobody cares because its a chicken

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Three nuns were talking in the church. The first nun said, "I was looking in the Priest's desk and found a condom." The second nun said, "I saw also saw that condom, except I poked holes in it." The third nun promptly reported them to the Priest causing the first two nuns to lose thier jobs.

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What did the pet lion say to its owner? Nothing. The lion then proceeded to hunt down its owner, pin him down and rip out his insides. Besides, the likelyhood of owning a lion as a pet is very slim, and even if one did, this act would be highly illegal in most parts of the world.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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