How do you keep an elephant from charging? Shoot it with a high powered gun right between the eyes.

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When life gives you lemons, squirt the juice in life's eyes. Then life won't trust you with lemons.

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Reminding you of your religion. The army led by God attacked their foes at the mountains, yet had to flee because the enemy had plated steel wagons. Moral: Either God cant beat steel, or he was not there at all, its your call gents, because reading Ave Maria 50 times each time you sin, without reading the whole thing, does not even make you a Christian you FUCK (yes I can curse, you cannot)

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what's the diferance between a boner and a lambroghini? I dont have a lambroghini

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Knock Knock Who's there? Hello there. I am Elder Young and I with the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. What would you say if someone were to offer you peace and happiness through all of eternity?

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What's the difference between a red ball and a blue ball? There both blue but the red one

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Who the hell named a blue flower "violet"?

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four people walk into a maze with a billion dollars in the middle.the people are santa clause, the easter bunny, a smart mexican, and a dumb mexican. Who gets the money. oviously the dumb mexican gets it. why you ask. because the other three are not real.

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Why did Billy start a fire? Because he was cold.

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What is that smell? I don't know. I'm color blind.

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Why did the plane crash? There was a horrible mechanical error that caused the main engines to fail.

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What did the Germans cook in their giant oven made for cooking jews? Jews.

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roses are red violets are blue i have Downs Syndrome... and a ding-dong potato

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How many lemons does it take to fix a lightbulb Lemons can't fix lightbulbs as the don't have a mind,heart or any limbs.Think about that crap.

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Why couldn't the duck fly? It died.

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How many dead babies can you fit in the trunk of a car? Any number if compressed sufficiently. At neutron star density all babies in the world would fit.

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one of my friends died of heartburn today :( i cant believe gav is gone

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man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasnt that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

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What'd the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? Just Dance 2 the video game

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Q: What do you get when you get a bunch of people who confuse dark humor for anti humor? A: This website.

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I love you You love me We all grab 2X4's Barney's on the floor No more purple dinosaur.

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knock, knock Sho'sthere? Sam who? Sam Butt

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Two scientists are experimenting with sulfuric acid. One scientist says to the other, "Did you see the new intern?" In the process of turning to face the first scientist, the second scientist knocks the beaker over and spills sulfuric acid all over the first scientist's hand. The first scientist writhes in pain as the second scientist rushes to find a strong base to neutralize the burn. After a few minutes, the first scientist is rushed off to the emergency room and suffers from some serious chemical burns.

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What's the difference between a dead baby in my garage and a Ferrari in my garage? I don't have a Ferrari.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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